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Part of the IEP process is progress monitoring. This person might be great with getting this student to make progress and that's really what counts in the world of IEPs. Have the school gather data on progress 8X per year and see how well this is working (you want this spelled out in the IEP). If the student is closing the gap (more than one year's worth of progress every year since the expectation for typical students is to stay at grade level with a year of progress every year) the school has data that this is a good match for this student. If the results don't show this, you have data showing that something different is needed. I'm not a lawyer so I can't say if what the school is doing is legal. (And appropriate seems to be the yardstick used in IDEA.) I also want to mention there is a huge shortage of people who are certified in any of the many flavors of O-G that are out there. I was talking to a parent in my area in one of the smaller school districts (2000 students). They have zero teachers who are certified in an O-G based reading program. Once you have data showing a lack of progress - 4 data points is what I'm thinking is the minimum to see how progress is trending - you'll have evidence that the IEP needs to be tweaked to something that will help the student catch up/close the gap. I know you don't want to let this IEP go into place for a full semester so you have data that their offer of FAPE isn't working but I'm not sure of a way around this. Not sure if someone else has a better idea and wants to post it.

Sorry for the delay with answering this. I check this site a few times every week but this is the 1st time seeing your question. I feel you need to write a parent concerns letter. Your child has needs for an adult to assist them with lots of ADLs so they can be safe at school. If the school removes the 1:1 aide, they will still have these needs for adult assistance. If the 1:1 is removed, who does the school propose will provide this assistance? This is what your letter needs to ask. Feel free to draft a letter & post back here. We'll help you come up with a good parent concerns letter. This has guidance on how to approach this: https://adayinourshoes.com/parent-concerns-on-the-iep-parent-letter-of-attachment/ This should help you get from 'pitch a fit' to 'proactively document the need'.

Help! Our public district is trying to assign a child with dyslexia, who attends our private school, to a teacher who has only taken Wilson's 16 hour introduction course, but is not certified. Despite other students in our private school working with an OG practitioner, the district is now saying that they, "can't offer our students more than they are offering theirs." Is this legal to offer services that aren't being delivered with fidelity for a student with a language based learning disability? Of note, the district does currently have at least one of their students working with the same OG practitioner (I know the parent). What options do we have for appealing/fighting the district to deliver services with fidelity?

Neither of those assess social skills. I filled them out for my child and the results of those evals never stated where she was with social skills. The SSIS - Social Skills Improvement System - was the assessment the school did that provided a percentile measurement of where my child was. (She was in the 99th percentile academically and the 2nd percentile with social skills. And this was after 5 years of the school working with her on social skills.) Teachers were who filled this out. The Vineland & BASC look at behavior. You want something specific for social skills. You also want something the evaluator knows how to interpret so there might be a different test for social skills they will use.

Thanks for your response! I filled out the Parent Vineland and the Parent BASC from the School Psychologist as part of his re-eval. Is this sufficient for social skills or would there be something more?

Is there a goal for this student to become less calculator-dependent with doing math? You don't mention this in your post. If this is the case, there needs to be SDI in this area because skills don't get better by osmosis. SDI sessions also provides an opportunity for progress monitoring. When a skill only gets accommodated, no progress is expected since there is no SDI so the accommodation needs to continue since there's no progress monitoring without an IEP goal. Best practice is to accommodate while providing SDI until the student's skill set catches up to grade level peers. Not sure if this is happening.

I'm not sure how this would work but it sounds like an outside counselor could diagnose him with Afterschool Restraint Collapse. If this were to happen, accommodations could be added to the IEP to help with how he acts once he's home. Not sure if an IEE would look at this. And you might need to invite this person to the IEP meeting so they can explain to the team what's needed in the IEP given the diagnosis. Every school in the US has anti-bullying rules - pretty sure this is a federal mandate. If it's the same kids or same group of kids all the time who are being unkind, that's bullying. The school should have a protocol on how this gets reported so they can deal with it. If he will not do this, you might need to intervene for him. Lastly, you posted he has social skills deficits. Has the school assessed this area of need? (SSIS is the assessment I'm aware of for this.) If the school sees this as an area of need, the school can help teach this as part of the IEP. This often co-occurs with issues with pragmatic language. If you see these as areas of need, tell the school (in writing so there is a paper trail) so they can assess these areas with doing their re-eval.

I agree with JDS that school districts don't have to (and often can't) be held to the requirements set forth on the Wilson website. I also agree that 90 minutes in one session is too much for a third grader (I have tutored 3rd graders 1:1 in OG-based instruction). What school districts do have to be held to is progress. And it doesn't matter what program is being used - if sufficient progress is not happening, something needs to change, whether that be the program, number of minutes, ratio of students, teacher training, etc. As JDS stated, progress monitoring is the same for whatever instruction the school is using. In very general terms: 1. For accuracy, you want to see progress toward her reading on grade level with 95% accuracy. 2. For fluency, you want to see progress toward her reading 112 words correct per minutes on a third grade passage (Hasbrouck & Tindal Compiled ORF Norms). 3. For comprehension, you want to see progress toward her answering 4 of our 5 comprehension questions after reading a third grade passage. A question for MBM. When you say you "prefer OG over Wilson," what do you mean? OG is not a program, per say, but a teaching approach. And Wilson is based in OG. As far as mastery of skills, I completely agree with you that 70/80% is too low (95% is the lowest I accept on a goal for reading skills, except for comprehension; if there are only 5 comprehension questions, I accept 90% as a goal). However, the goal should not be dictated by the program. The goal should be dictated by the IEP team, regardless of whatever program the school is using suggests.

I agree with Lisa regarding the use of a calculator. Many people need a calculator in their daily lives, and the vast majority use it whether they actually "need" it or not. With her being in high school, at this point you are readying her for life beyond high school, which for her may be life with a calculator. Having said that, it is important that she know the concepts behind math calculation problems (as opposed to just rote memory). For instance, that 24 is 4 groups of 6 or 2 groups of 12 or 3 groups of 8. I'm a little confused as to why no data is available because of distance learning. Believe me, I understand the difficulty with distance learning, but isn't there a way to work with her remotely and verbally ask her her multiplication facts (i.e., flash cards)? Or have her complete a worksheet that she holds up and shows you? I assume she is getting specialized instruction minutes in math pursuant to her IEP, so can't data be collected during those sessions?

I think it helps to remember that some people really do need a calculator their whole lives...and that’s okay. What matters is maximizing her skills and independence, wherever that line is for her. I’d frame the discussion around data, not opinion: what progress you’ve seen so far, what’s unknown right now with distance learning, and how to gather new information. That keeps the focus on supporting the student, not debating the tool.

I have a question. I teach high school, mostly resource math and ELA. I have an IEP meeting coming up where it got pretty contentious at last year's meeting. The student has a SLD in math calculations. Mom wants the student to be able to use a calculator for everything. I pushed back, saying we want to grow her skills. The team decided that we would leave the use of a calculator in the IEP as an accommodation, but only for non-basic calculation problems. (Because I want her to practice those basic calculations.) She also has an accommodation to use a student-completed multiplication chart. Her skills have benefited from this. However, she is a distance learner this year, so I have no new data suggesting her skills are continuing to benefit, nor do I have a way to monitor whether she's using a calculator for every problem. Do you have any suggestions as to how to approach this to help mom feel like we're all on the same team instead of adversaries?

1. If you don't think check-in's for breaks are occurring, I would suggest having them scheduled (every one or two hours, whatever you think is best). A teacher with 25 kids actually may not see his fatigue (I'm not excusing this; just looking at it from a practical standpoint.) I would say ask the teacher during the meeting, but my guess is you will not get an accurate response. 2. A self-advocacy goal would look something like "student will recognize when he is fatigued and request a break 3 out of 4 times..." One could also be written for asking for help, etc. 3. You may need to request an IEE in order to get services other than academic. Make sure that the school re-evaluation is covering social/emotional. If they refuse, you can still request an IEE based on the fact that the school had the opportunity but did not test in all areas of concern.

He is currently getting reading and writing supports under “Developmental Delay” and is on stay put for OT. It’s actually only been just under 2 years since his last round of testing but since he can only have “Developmental Delay” until age 9, they are retesting, and we also requested an evaluation in the area of math and I am pretty confident that he’ll qualify. They are currently doing all the testing and the meeting is scheduled at the end of November. I am mentally preparing myself for him to qualify under “Intellectual Disability” as he scored only one point above very low on his last round of IQ testing and was recently diagnosed with a genetic condition that causes ID. 1. I did already have them change to wording from “can take a break as needed” to “conduct regular teacher check ins to see if (student) needs a break (swapping to an alternative task)if fatigued. I’m not fully confident that this is happening however. While he doesn’t show signs of dysregulation at school, it’s pretty obvious to anyone paying attention when he is getting fatigued and needs a break but again, I’m not confident that this is happening in the classroom setting. 2. What would a self advocacy goal look like? I plan to put emphasis on this in our parent concern statement. I did have to fill out a few questionnaires from the School Psychologist. 3. I know he will still be getting academic services, I just feel like that’s the only thing the school will give him though, and academics aren’t the full picture. 4. We’re not at that level yet but I’ll definitely do this if needed. 5. I agree. They have to understand that working really hard and still not understanding and getting many questions wrong will eventually impact mental health! He has always loved school and I’m so nervous that that is going to end soon if everything keeps being so hard for him. Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions, I really appreciate it.

What are his categories of eligibility? For what areas are there goals? Has a re-evaluation been done for the three year re-evaluation meeting, or is this just for a review of existing data? This will help us better formulate a response to your question. But for now, I would offer the following suggestions: 1. If he has an accommodation for a break, make sure it doesn't read or can be interpreted that the student has to ask for the break. Most 8-year-olds don't have this self-advocacy skill and especially depending on what the disability is, shouldn't be expected to have this skill yet. So make sure the "break" accommodation is either scheduled breaks that the teacher has to abide by or that the teacher must prompt the break if s/he sees dysregulation (but this may not work if your son doesn't show signs of dysregulation at school). 2. In the meantime until he has the skill, self-advocacy should be a goal he is working towards (again, this could be dependent on the disability). 2. Unless already done, request a re-evaluation in the area of social/emotional. These usually have questionnaires that parents complete (and sometimes even students - not sure of the age for these). That way you can get "into the record" your concerns and his. 3. If the re-evaluation doesn't move the school toward additional goals and accommodations, ask for an Independent Educational Evaluation. 4. Depending on the severity of the "unkindness" toward your son, you should probably report these incidents to the principal. 5. If he's getting "a lot of answers wrong," this is something to point to show that there are issues at school even if he's not acting out.

My 8.5 year old son is very proficient at masking at school. He is a hard worker with a great attitude and no behavior issues. Because of this, I’m constantly told that he’s doing fine but because I’m his safe person, he shares things with me or melts down as soon as he is home. He is now realizing that he works really hard and tries his best but that school work is very hard for him and get gets a lot of answers wrong which rightfully, upsets him very much. We put no emphasis on grades at home and tell him that as long as he works hard and tries his best, that’s what’s important and what his dad and I care about. He is also struggling socially and with self advocacy but because these things aren’t tied into unwanted behaviors at school, they are being ignored completely. When I shared these concerns with the school counselor and told her how he had a meltdown at home about kids being unkind to him, she suggested private counseling. We have a 3 year re-eval meeting coming up in a few weeks and I would love some advice on how to get the school to acknowledge that just because he doesn’t express these feelings to them at school, it doesn’t mean that he’s not experiencing them. I also feel that he needs a concrete self-advocacy goal because he will never ask for a break, or tell a teacher if something has happened, or speak up if he doesn’t understand something.

Our district has used a combination of both and one or the other depending on what training the SPED teacher per grade has. OG daily and consistently (same instructor) has worked best for my family. The 3rd / 4th grade is such a critical time to keep the intervention consistent. I speak from experience. Our district reduced services in 4th grade and changed instructors, in 5th the instructor dropped phonics instruction (no OG or Wilsons) and just focused on fluency - my daughter is still at a 3rd grade level and hasn’t made effective progress since that daily / consistent OG time. Why we prefer OG over Wilsons is that OG works on 100% mastery of skills. Wilsons is a program, so it’s easier for schools to implement and when a student masters 70/80% of the skill they can move on to teaching the next skill. I’ve heard this works just fine for some students. In my opinion OG is most beneficial for building the rapid symbolic naming, repetition and mastery are really key for building those rapid recall pathways (in my view, parent perspective). 45 minute OG sessions for reading have been effective. Extra time is needed for writing and math. I’d definitely ask what STRUCTURED writing and math programs are being used. In my experience many public schools don’t have structured language-based writing and math programs being used. I’m always wondering about progress monitoring. Most recently our district has relied on the following: DIBLES, GORT, WIST. Good luck advocating for you student!

So...Norm from Cheers died. I know, I know—dating myself a bit. But I loved that show. Still do. Hulu thinks I need a rewatch and honestly? Some of the episodes have aged like milk. (Yikes.) There was one that stuck with me, though. Sam signs Diane up for a “barmaid beauty” contest. She’s horrified—because, duh, Diane. But she goes along with it, and by the end, she realizes that winning gives her a bigger platform to speak out about objectifying women. Anyway, it hit me: I’m in my own Diane moment. Personality wise, I'm much more like Carla, I think. Good hearted--but tough, snarky exterior. My book is coming out in a few months. I’m proud of it, and I want people to read it—because it’s a steal at $25. But here’s the bigger thing: if this book does well, I get a louder megaphone. To talk about our kids. Our IEP mess. Our lack of funding, meaningful solutions, progress and accountability. You know, the stuff no one else wants to touch because "only 15% of kids have IEPs." So here’s the ask: Buy the book. Gift it if you don’t need it. Click the Amazon link even if you can’t buy it—because Amazon thinks clicks = quality and will show it to more people. Thanks for reading. Thanks for helping me be the loud, annoying Diane we need. LL P.S. Here’s the link to the book (because you know I don’t do vague). If you don't want to support Amazon, there are other options to purchase it. But please at least click the Amazon Link.

Today was a really odd day. I mean--spent the day watching high school basketball which is pretty much what I do every weekend. But coming home, traffic was a hot mess. And, the whole FIFA thing was letting out in south Philly....and we got caught in this mele and traffic stop on 95 right by the airport. As we're sitting there stopped (yes, stopped on I-95 so the Juventus busses could have the right of way with a police escort), the guy behind me threw a can at the car next to him! (which was filled with young men hanging out the window celebrating) I got really nervous because it went downhill fast. Before we knew it, both cars had pulled up around mine (and all the others) and were chasing each other down 95! I saw a few near-miss accidents, then said to my son, "I'm going to slow down a bit and let them get way out ahead of us so I have plenty of stopping time if they kill each other." Anyway, the whole incident made me pensive driving home. People are passionate--whether it's sports or politics, people love their "thing." They literally were risking their lives over a soccer game. Passion is awesome. It keeps us fired up and in the game. But passion without perspective? That’s when we start missing the signs. There’s a fine line between dedication and delusion. Passion is great—but if you’re not careful, it’ll make you ignore the facts right in front of you, or defend things that probably don't deserve defending. And with everything heating up, this kind of self-check is going to be more important than ever. Passion’s great—until it starts to cloud your judgment, or worse, makes you defend the indefensible just because it’s “your side.†That philosophy applies to both sides. We've all done it--seen something we really wish is true, so we believe it's true. Then we share it. Then we find out it's not true. Let's all take a deep breath before we react, and I'm pointing that first finger at myself. Normally at the start of each week, I send out an action item--a legislative item for us to act upon. Not this week. The USA bombing Iran will distract or derail any other conversations to be had. Of course, we can always call about the "big beautiful bill" that will remove health care for millions of Americans. I call or email about that weekly, and probably will again this week. But there's nothing new in the area of health care or education. Except maybe the US Department of Energy trying to abolish 504. Our lobbying is so needed--our kids cannot advocate (much) politically for themselves. They're going to rely on us, and there's a lot of this in our future. Make it a part of your routine. I have a Thursday routine that I do for work, and now "calling Congress" is on that list. Every week. Take time for yourself. Tune out. Turn off. Watch a movie or read a book. Walk the dog. Stay informed, but at a healthy level. This is a long game. All the information here is still current: Stepping Up for Disabled Kids: Guide to Changing Special Education Advocacy and Laws in 2025 Stepping Up for Disabled Kids: Legislative Information Rest, but don't quit. LL *Please note: the posts here that are in the "Sunday Night Emails" category are just that--previous emails sent out on a Sunday night. The dates/times/content may not match up with present day events because it was sent out a while ago.

How's everyone doing? Whether this past week (and next) was vacation, time off, ESY or just business as usual, I hope you were able to find time for yourself. For those of you who have been around me for a while, maybe you remember back in the winter when it was first announced that the US Dept of Ed was being dismantled. First, it was shock. Then, within about 24 hours or so, I was on social media and email, saying "oh hell no, fucking bring it!" I still stand by those statements, because I believe with 100% of my heart that going against special needs moms and teachers, as a unit, is one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make. Still, I'd be lying if I said I felt that same fire in my belly regarding the BBB that passed on Thursday. Regardless of what people want to believe, if implemented, disabled people will die. In droves. I guess that's why I don't feel the same energy--maybe because the stakes are higher now? I mean, if the ED dismantles, will people die? Probably not. If rural hospitals close, disabled people don't have food, care, support....will they die? Yes, they will. And our country let it happen in the 60s, 80s, 90s and the pandemic, so don't kid yourself "that'll never happen." Unfortunately the USA has a long history of letting marginalized people die (which is why they don't want our kids to learn the real history, but I digress). Anyway, my point is....as a special needs parent, mom, advocate and community leader in this space, how do we get out of this place of despair and fear? A mantra that I've said 1000 times: Focus on what we can control. I cannot control how Congress votes. I can (and do) call my legislators regularly, and I vote in every election, but ultimately how they vote is up to them. I can control how I show up for my kid. I can control how I advocate, how I support others, and how I use my voice. I can control what I teach my community and what tools I share with you. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to double down on helping you become the strongest, savviest IEP parent or public school teacher you can be. Because while they’re out there playing games with our lives and our kids’ futures, we’re over here preparing, learning, and fighting smarter. This week, I’m going to share more free tools, updated guides, and some ways you can take action—at school, in your community, and yes, even in D.C. when the time is right. We are not powerless. And when special needs parents and educators get organized, focused, and loud? That’s when the real change happens. We’ve got work to do. Lastly, I put these thoughts, and one of my favorite photos of me and my boys, RIGHT HERE. Please share with anyone who needs a little direction these days, a virtual hug or motivation. We've overcome so much--as the saying goes, I didn't come this far only to come this far. Rest, but don't quit. LL *Please note: the posts here that are in the "Sunday Night Emails" category are just that--previous emails sent out on a Sunday night. The dates/times/content may not match up with present day events because it was sent out a while ago.

Last week I was supposed to go to this "thing" out in Gettysburg, for two days. It was part conference/part work session, a statewide thing run by our state Bureau of Special Ed. Since PA had the PARC decree 3 years before IDEA existed, we had "IEPs" and special ed, and we have these parent-led groups called Local Task Forces. I've written about them on my site before, because they're a fantastic idea, but they have this clunky name that is unappealing. Anyway, I am chairing the one for my county this coming school year, so all the people involved statewide were gathered to try and improve them going forward. But, when you have a child like mine, with complex medical needs, a sitter is not always so easy to find. Especially the first week of July. So, it didn't work out for me to go. Sometimes, though, the world works in mysterious ways. Right after Congress passed that horrible bill, Speaker Johnson sent everyone home. They were actually supposed to be in session but he canceled it. My Congresswoman was back home in our district (as I assume most were) and they reached out and asked if I'd like to meet with her. This was Tuesday night, asking about Wedesnday. Had I been in Gettysburg, that wouldn't have happened. Anyway, I called off Kevin's van and his nurses for Wednesday, and we went. https://birdmail.s3.amazonaws.com/images/1628/20250713024040518282230_10214286469511101_2192762172439067655_n.jpg Lisa Lightner, Kevin Lightner and Representative Chrissy Houlihan (D-PA) We got to chat for about half an hour. Kevin gave her an up close and personal glimpse into what it's like to go out with someone who is profoundly autistic. He took off his shoes shortly after we got there. He threw the few things that I had brought for him, that yes, were "highly preferred" items just hours before. He hit me once while I was talking. At one point, he bolted up out of his wheelchair, ran across the room and tried to climb a set of stacked chairs (I stopped him of course). Hooray for scattered skill sets??? Despite all that, we had a meaningful conversation and she got a look at some of PA's neediest citizens, and why these Medicaid cuts will be devastating to those of us who rely on HCBS services, in particular. I didn't had hope for change--the votes are over, the bill has been signed. We chatted about upcoming elections, and my hope that is what will facilitate change. But here's an interesting tidbit: At one point, I said to her, "I just don't understand how some Reps, like Speaker Johnson, can vote yes for this bill, when over half of his district relies on Medicaid." She said she is surprised too. But here's the interesting part--she told me that she often asks her conservative counterparts, and they are telling her that they don't hear from their constituents. Are they being truthful when they tell her this? I think some of them are. I'm genuinely surprised at how many people are too intimidated to call their people (reminder: they work for US, not the other way around). I've posted many calls to action on my page, only to see comments like "oh, I live in so-and-so's district, waste of time" or "I live in a deep red district, it won't matter." I'm here to tell you: IT MATTERS. Studies show elected officials pay attention to calls and letters from their own district—even in “safe” seats. Your calls are logged, tracked, and lumped into a daily tally staffers relay to the member. They work for us, even if it doesn't always feel that way. Step out of your comfort zone. Make time. None of us is too busy for a 5 minute phone call. Even better: If you live near one of your rep's district offices, stop in. Tell them that you're either disappointed in their vote, or thank them for a recent vote. There's a lot more going on than this bill. There's the $7 billion he's witholding from states, that Congress already approved for education. There's the Department of Labor thing-- no longer required to hire disabled people. Stay tuned, I'll have more on these issues, as fast as my fingers can type. In the meantime, you can check here for the latest information. I have to redo and update a lot of previous posts, but will still be doing our "Take Action Tuesday" items. Rest, but don't quit. LL *Please note: the posts here that are in the "Sunday Night Emails" category are just that--previous emails sent out on a Sunday night. The dates/times/content may not match up with present day events because it was sent out a while ago.

Facebook reminded me that ten years ago this week, Kevin had his first seizure. With his genetic condition, we knew it was a strong possibility, but woke up grateful each day that it hadn't happened. Yet. It was summer, just like now. We were headed into what should’ve been a lazy, sunny week, but instead, our world cracked open and never quite sealed back the same way. I can tell you where I was standing. I can still hear the silence that follows a seizure—that eerie quiet where time seems to suspend itself while your brain scrambles to catch up to what just happened. It was just the beginning. And I’ve spent the last ten years learning how to walk that path, even when it twists unexpectedly, even when the ground disappears under my feet. The milestones hit differently now. While many families celebrate first steps, first words, or first jobs—ours have included EEGs, med changes, and hard-won moments of calm. We’ve learned to measure progress in breaths taken, in school days completed without a call from the nurse. Retractable epilepsy and LGS means regression--unavoidable regression unless you control the seizures. And, unfortunately for Kevin, we're just waiting for the science to catch up to him. I won’t sugarcoat it—there’s grief. There’s grief for what could’ve been, for the version of childhood that wasn’t ours. But there’s also gratitude. For the nurses who know us by name. For the teachers who listen. For every quiet moment that didn’t end in rescue meds and canceled plans. And there’s strength. Kevin’s, mostly. But also mine. I didn’t know I had this in me. I didn’t know I could fight so hard, advocate so fiercely, or sit up night after night researching meds and school accommodations like it was my job—because, well, it became my job. Ten years ago, I didn’t know any of this. I was just a mom watching her child on the floor, unable to do anything but whisper “please, please, please” into the chaos. Today, I know better. I know what to ask for. I know what to push for. I know the loopholes, the workarounds. If you’re newer to this journey—if your child’s first seizure was last week or last year—I want you to know: you’re not alone. You will find your footing, even if it doesn’t feel like it now. The grief might always be there, but so will the community, the resources, and the resilience you didn’t know you had. We’re ten years in. And while I’d give anything to change that first moment, I wouldn’t trade the strength it’s uncovered in both of us. Side note--One of my few parenting regrets regarding epilepsy is this--For years, doctors would ask us "are you seeing any infantile spasms?" and I'd always say no. Truth is, I didn't know what an infantile spasm was. I heard the word spasm and just assumed he wasn't having them. Then one day, the Brain Recovery Project shared a video of infantile spasms. Oh. If your child is at risk for epilepsy, please educate yourself on allllll the different kinds of seizures, including infantile spasms. Turns out "that dark day" in July was not his first--we just didn't know what we were looking at. Read: ESES, Status Epilepticus, and Other Things I Wish I Knew about Epilepsy. Thanks for being here—for reading, for sharing, for walking this path with me. —Lisa *Please note: the posts here that are in the "Sunday Night Emails" category are just that--previous emails sent out on a Sunday night. The dates/times/content may not match up with present day events because it was sent out a while ago.

For obvious reasons, I follow a lot of education, disability and special ed related stuff on social media. This one post still has me thinking about it, and I saw it like 2 weeks ago. I'm not personally criticizing anyone--we're all entitled to our opinions. And, our world view is our world view, based on what we've experienced. But clearly my advocacy journey has been quite different than hers. I offer advocate training. On Thursdays during the school year, we Zoom at 2:00. Sometimes I bring in an attorney or expert to do some training. Other times it's just chatting--bouncing ideas around, troubleshooting issues and problems we're having with clients. I had no idea when I started this--but I've been told dozens of times it's the best part of the training and why a lot of advocates sign up. Most of us work from home, alone, and it is a lonely job at times. I *think* I'm the advocate in the group who has the most years of experience, but I'm not positive. But even doing this for 15 years, I still have questions and ideas I need to hash out with colleagues. That's right--I said colleagues. These advocates are all over the country--CT, CO, CA, FL, MI, DE, MD and many other states. I still consider these people my "colleagues." So anyway--back to that social media post. It was advertising a free PDF or webinar or something....to help advocates "discover who their competitors are." Something like that. The vibe was advocates competing with other advocates, for clients. There are something like 8 million kids with IEPs in this country. The largest caseload I've ever had at once was 18 kids. And by caseload--I mean their current situation was active with emails, evals, meetings and stuff. Not just on the back burner waiting for another meeting. Very active situations--and honestly--18 kids almost broke me. When you have 18 families and 18 schools to communicate with, 18 IEPs to do a record review and research options.... honestly, sometimes I'm surprised that I'm still an advocate after that time period. 18 kids is 0.000225% of 8 million. And it was more than I could handle. There are enough kids to go around--there is enough need to go around, that we don't need to be thinking of each other as competitors. Any mental energy I'm using to think about how I can "beat" you in the business world, or compete against you....is mental energy I'm not using on your child's situation. There’s more than enough work to go around, and collaboration helps us all serve families better. Wasting energy on comparison or imaginary turf wars takes away from what really matters: empowering parents and improving outcomes for kids. I don’t compete against other advocates, and I don’t compete against schools either. Competition in advocacy is a failed strategy. That mindset might serve attorneys in due process hearings, but it has no place in everyday advocacy. The need is massive, and there are more families than there are trained advocates to help them. (which is why I started my training program in the first place) Wasting time viewing each other, or schools, as the enemy only drains energy from the real mission: supporting families, building/repairing relationships, and getting better outcomes for students. Collaboration, not competition, is how we make lasting change. When advocates support one another, everyone wins—especially the students we’re all here for. Rest, but don't quit. Lisa PS: I will have a lot more info on the training coming in August. If you read yesterday's email, you read that I am updating all my products--and the training is included. Info coming soon. *Please note: the posts here that are in the "Sunday Night Emails" category are just that--previous emails sent out on a Sunday night. The dates/times/content may not match up with present day events because it was sent out a while ago.

Kevin had an appointment in center city recently. Yes, pushing an adult in a wheelchair through Philly when my car said...(checks notes)...104 degrees. Whew! Many of his doctors teach and do research. And, he asked us to participate in a study they're doing about disaabled kids who have to transition from pediatric to adult providers. I said yes, of course. Because this? This is exactly where we are. And it’s hard. On the drive home (in traffic because the city was teeming with tourists), I had time to think. And it hit me just how long I’ve been doing this. Kevin is my first. I don’t know parenting any other way. It’s always included a side order of caregiving, case management, and explaining his diagnoses to strangers who may or may not be helpful. Honestly? I can’t remember what it’s like to just parent. And maybe you can relate. Maybe you’re in that space, too, where caregiving has become so automatic, you forget there was ever a time before it. Here’s the thing I want to say to all of us: This work we do, this invisible, exhausting, often unrewarded work of managing someone else's complex needs, is not nothing. It’s not just “part of the job.” It’s an entire second job, one that no one trains you for. But here we are. Still showing up. Still advocating. Still sweating (literally and metaphorically). So maybe the lesson in all this traffic and sweat and research study participation is this: just because something has become your “normal,” doesn’t mean it’s not extraordinary. You are doing extraordinary things. Take a moment to notice that. And then, go pour yourself a cold drink. Preferably indoors. Related: The Extraordinary Burden of IEPs on Moms. Rest, but don't quit. LL *Please note: the posts here that are in the "Sunday Night Emails" category are just that--previous emails sent out on a Sunday night. The dates/times/content may not match up with present day events because it was sent out a while ago.

Like a lot of people, yes—I’ve tested AI to see if it could lighten my workload. Every time, I’ve ended up disappointed. In the 15 years since I started, my work has shifted from “just a blog” to a full-scale online business that I mostly run alone. The pressure is real, and shortcuts are tempting. I tried using AI for blog posts... it gave wrong info, clunky phrasing, not my voice, and hours of editing. No time saved. I tried it for emails and social posts, fine at first, until you realize everything starts sounding the same. Same cadence, same buzzwords, same overused emojis. Once you notice it, you can’t unsee it. Still determined, I asked it to analyze my Facebook ads. It walked me through downloading reports, which I did, then spit out two paragraphs of “Some ads worked and some didn’t.” #NotHelpful. When I pushed for specifics, it gave me data that was just plain inaccurate. Finally, it listed four ads to kill or duplicate, complete with headlines. Except those ads didn’t even exist in my account. I wasted a Thursday night and still didn’t have answers. When I told my husband the story, his first response was: “Why would you even do that? You have no idea what personal data you just fed it.” Good point. Then there’s the bigger picture: AI runs on massive data centers that use staggering amounts of water and electricity. Every time a person does a "chatgpt session" it depletes our planet of 1-2 liters of drinkable water. The environmental reasons alone are why I've vowed not to use it until they get that part figured out. Here’s what all that taught me: there are no shortcuts. The only people insisting “AI is the future” are usually selling AI or AI-related products. And that brings me to IEPs. If AI can’t even summarize my ad report correctly, how could we possibly trust it with something as nuanced, high-stakes, and deeply human as an IEP? IEPs are about children, real kids with real struggles and real futures. They require judgment, empathy, and context. “Close enough” isn’t good enough. And beyond that, putting student info into AI is a privacy nightmare waiting to happen. Being a teacher right now is…hard. But even if I were looking to change jobs or nearing retirement, I wouldn’t train AI to do my work for me. That’s the fastest way to be replaced. What you do matters. Your instincts, your ability to connect with a child, your presence in the room....none of that can be replicated by an algorithm. That doesn’t mean you have to drown under the workload. Systems, not shortcuts, are what save time. Templates, trackers, and repeatable processes won’t replace you; they support you. They give you space back in your day without undermining your expertise or value. I was reminded of this myself last weekend. I bought a little $27 course called The Organized Blogger from a creator I trust. I spent a Saturday setting up the systems she taught and my workload already feels lighter. Embarrassing to admit, but I’ve been at this since 2008 without any real systems, just scattered notebooks and checklists and planners from Aldi. Sometimes, taking a step back to put a structure in place is what lets you move forward with less stress and more impact. Enjoy the rest of your evening, Lisa *Please note: the posts here that are in the "Sunday Night Emails" category are just that--previous emails sent out on a Sunday night. The dates/times/content may not match up with present day events because it was sent out a while ago.

I have this neighbor who has become one of my closest friends. Years ago, we both decided we needed to walk more, so we carved out time...even with six kids between us, two IEPs, and busy work lives. Now we manage to get in 4–5 walks a week. It’s one of the best things I do for myself. This morning I got to our meeting spot first. While waiting, I heard an odd sound and, being the bird nerd that I am, looked up. There was a pileated woodpecker hammering away. If you’ve never seen one, they’re rare to spot, huge, striking birds with a bright red plume. I stood there wishing for my phone to snap a photo…but then caught myself. Why? Because it reminded me of all those concert videos people post. They pay hundreds for tickets, yet spend the whole night behind their screens instead of just enjoying the music. I almost did the same thing...for a free, fleeting, beautiful moment. So I took a breath, stayed still, and let myself just watch. Later that day, I came home from basketball practice with B to find K’s room littered with shredded pages. My heart sank. Several vintage Sesame Street books, gone. But instead of reacting, I sat with him. And then I noticed: every scrap had the Count von Count on it. This wasn’t random destruction. It was intentional, tied to his deep interest. https://birdmail.s3.amazonaws.com/images/1628/20250921065457thumbnail.jpg Two very different moments in one day, but the same lesson: slow down and look closer. Not everything needs to be documented. Not every mess is just a mess. Sometimes what feels like an inconvenience or a loss is actually insight, or a gift, if we’re paying attention. Mindfulness doesn't always have to be scheduled, or a deliberate activity. (but if you need ideas, I got 'em) Mindfulness isn’t about perfect calm. It’s about choosing presence over autopilot. Whether it’s a rare woodpecker or torn-up books, the reminder is the same: notice the details, and they’ll often tell you more than the noise ever will. I wish you all the best of weeks....and I hope you are able to take a deep breath and notice what's around you. LL *Please note: the posts here that are in the "Sunday Night Emails" category are just that--previous emails sent out on a Sunday night. The dates/times/content may not match up with present day events because it was sent out a while ago.