My 2e daughter's general Ed teacher had a meeting with her about accommodations and modifications. She said to her student, "Your IEP is set up so you get good grades" and "You need to push yourself more you should try without your modification and accomodations." "You should not be getting all 100s."

Needless to say my student, being put in a position to defend her needs, came out of the meeting feeling terrible about herself.

I would love to send a video or a professional paper to this teacher to help her understand students who Learn differently are not lazy or need to pish themselves harder when they are already working 2x as hard as their neurotypical peers. They need the accommodations to fully access their education and show their knowledge. The IEP exists to remove the barrier of her disability to level the playing field and set her up for success.

Can you recommend something not too long that I could send this teacher to help her understand my daughter and her other students in the future?

Hi Lara.  I am going to assume the learning difference is dyslexia.  I think you should preface anything you send to the teacher with your words in the third paragraph above, which are a very good explanation on their own.  A gifted student SHOULD be getting all 100's IF she has the barrier to her education removed/accommodated for.  Does she tell a child in a wheelchair to "just try harder" to walk?  It is essentially the same thing.  The physically disabled child can't help that they can't walk, and a child with dyslexia can't help that they struggle to read - no matter how hard they try.

In addition to being educated on dyslexia, this teacher also needs to be educated on IEPs.  It is completely inappropriate (and possibly discriminatory) for the teacher to tell (bully) the child to try without her modifications and accommodations.  That is an IEP team decision.  If the modifications and accommodations are in the IEP, by law she HAS to follow them regardless of her personal feelings on the matter.  Also, you need to request (demand) that she have no more such conversations with your daughter or ask the special education coordinator/director to reach out to the teacher.  She is putting the school district at risk by not following the IEP.  You would have a valid state complaint or could go to due process with this.

Below are a couple of quick reads.  The CNN article includes a link to a simulation, which hopefully she would click on.  One last suggestion.  I would try to get the teacher to confirm in writing what she said to your daughter.  So you might first send an email something along the lines of "my daughter mentioned a meeting you had with her.  I just wanted to get some clarification on what you were asking of her.  Are you wanting her to attempt her school work without using the accommodations in her IEP?"  No judgement or shaming or education yet - something neutral that she would hopefully respond to with the truth so you would have some proof if that were ever needed.  Good luck!

https://dyslexia.yale.edu/dyslexia/what-is-dyslexia/

https://www.cnn.com/2016/03/05/health/dyslexia-simulation/index.html

The IEP should be set up to both remediate as well as accommodate a student's disability.  The long term goal should be to be able to not need this at a point in the future.

It should be up to the IEP team - not the gen ed teacher - if there should be a trial of not using the accommodations in the IEP.  What data does the gen ed teacher have that the modifications and accommodations aren't needed anymore?

Is this gen ed teacher in the camp of 2E doesn't exist?  We ran into that.  They felt my autistic child could learn social skills like other kids especially since she was gifted.  This is a skill that typically develops around age  4 or 5.  I think this was 4th or 5th grade we were told this but she didn't have the autism diagnosis at this point.  That came at the end of 7th grade if I remember correctly.  She needed direct instruction like most autistics.  Direct instruction in structured literacy is what remediates dyslexia.  Pretty sure this can't be self taught or we'd have a lot more than ~30% of students passing standarized testing in reading.  (The issue with most students isn't dyslexia - it's a lack of explicit, structured instruction in phonics as well as other things like morphology.)

My feeling is that it is inappropriate for the gen ed teacher to have this conversation without at least the special ed teacher present.  IMO, the sp ed teacher is more likely to have data on what the student needs as far as modifications and accommodations go.

I'd be documenting the interaction, how it affected your child and requesting that the teacher run these things by the IEP team at an IEP meeting in the future rather than asking the student to do without what's in the IEP.  In other words write an email and cc the special ed teacher & the LEA/principal.

putting your daughter in a position to defend her own accommodations? Absolutely unacceptable.

I totally get wanting to educate this teacher instead of just blasting them with anger (which, let’s be honest, at times they kinda deserve). Here are a few short but impactful resources you can send:

1. The Classic: “F.A.T. City” Workshop (Frustration, Anxiety, Tension)

👉 Video 
Richard Lavoie’s “How Hard Can This Be?”
This is an eye-opening workshop where a specialist makes neurotypical teachers feel what it’s like to have a learning disability. Every teacher should be required to watch this.

2. Harvard Article: Why Neurodivergent Kids Work 2x as Hard

👉 Article 
The Twice-Exceptional Dilemma
This explains how 2e students work harder than neurotypical peers and why accommodations are essential—not a “crutch.”

3. One-Liner Response for the Future

For your daughter:
"My IEP is set up so I can access learning, not just so I can get good grades."
For the teacher:
"Accommodations don’t make learning easier—they make it possible."

Would love to hear how this goes. Hopefully, the teacher has enough self-awareness to take the hint.