How to handle gaslighting when it impacts IEP?

[Janis]

This is a 9th grader, one year in this PA district, long history of SLD in written expression, 7% essay comp WIAT4, below basic PSSA, low growth MAP scores between winter-Spring 8th grader, has ASD, ADHD…..

He cannot write a paragraph, but they “revised” aka vanished that unmet goal in November.  They changed it to “will write a multi paragraph essay using graphic organizers and sentence starters, and revise with editing checklist scoring a 3/4 for Style and Organization”. 
My emailed concerns 2 months ago included that he cannot articulate what he is learning in writing or verbally.

At the meeting this week, they are recommending Honors History specifically due to the 3-6 page research paper.

And they say he did so well in same class presentation that he should join the debate team.

And this is now included as teacher input on his IEP.  
With time and more data, I can break down the writing insanity (I am very realistic about the writing..he has had tutors and an ed therapist in Ca), but I am very tired of sitting in meetings that appear scripted for district.

Has anyone experienced this?  How do you handle it in the moment and in the follow up? I have a new advocate and understand the niceties and protocols of meetings, however, the gaslighting is sickening.  How can parental participation be maintained but protected from this professionally and in real time?