A declined post + What we can learn from it

[Lisa Lightner]

Recently, I declined to approve a post from a community member.

It read:

I'm helping out a friend who is trying to get help for her daughter, and I know this information, but I can't seem to find the specifics. What impact does it have on a school district based on the number of students they have receiving support? Is there some sort of benchmark they are trying to stay below or are they just denying it to show control?

I declined the post and told her I don’t answer questions like that. Not to be mean. Not to call anyone out. But because that line of thinking sends parents down the wrong path.

There’s a lot wrong with that advocacy strategy. Most importantly, it doesn’t work.

It’s not child-focused. It says nothing about the child’s disability, their present levels, their skill deficits, or educational impact. And that’s not how 504 or IEP eligibility decisions are made.

Let’s entertain it for a minute. Say I told her the district could only have 500 students receiving services and they were at 498.

What are you going to do with that? Walk into the eligibility meeting and say, “A-ha! You’ve got two spots left, so this child gets one”?

That’s not how this works.

Or what if I told her the actual truth, that there is no cap under IDEA or Section 504 on how many students can receive services. Yes, federal auditors may look at over-reporting, but there is no set number a district has to stay under.

Then what? Do you march into the meeting and accuse them of denying eligibility just to “show control”?

How far do you think that gets you?

I understand the frustration. I really do. When a school says no, the instinct is to look for the hidden reason. The budget. The politics. The control.

But here’s what I’ve learned after years of doing this and training hundreds of parents:

You win by staying relentlessly child-focused.

The school likely denied services because they do not believe the child meets eligibility criteria. Yes, finances and district culture can influence decisions. I’m not naïve about that.

But you don’t overturn denials by exposing motives. You overturn denials by building a case.

You focus on:
– Present levels
– Educational impact
– Data
– Documentation
– The legal criteria for eligibility

That’s it.

Even in difficult districts. Even when the answer starts as “no.”

My clients — and parents inside the Don’t IEP Alone Academy — secure new services and eligibility decisions all the time.

Not because I know a secret about district quotas.

But because we focus on the right things. We keep the spotlight on the child.

That’s what changes outcomes.

If you’ve found yourself chasing theories about district motives instead of building your child’s case, that’s a sign you need strategy — not more frustration.

That’s exactly what I teach inside the Don’t IEP Alone Academy.

It’s not about being louder or catching the district in something. It’s about understanding how decisions are actually made — and positioning your child’s needs in a way that’s hard to dismiss.

If you’re ready to stop spinning your wheels and start moving strategically--registration is open now, with 10% off.

Join today: https://dontiepalone.com/academy/ and use the code RIGHTDIRECTION to get 10% off.