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I often get asked why I am such an ardent advocate for vaccines. So here’s my answer….I am passionate about getting the truth out about vaccines because I was anti-vaxxer. Yes, you read that correctly. For almost a year, I stopped vaccinating my child. Our diagnosis day was right before a holiday weekend. We were given K’s chromosomal diagnosis…and we had no one to talk to. Offices were closed for the holiday. Just us and the internet…all weekend long. We searched the internet because that is what parents do now. With K’s condition, we had this beautiful infant in front of us, but what the internet told us was quite ugly. Among other things, we read that he could/would develop: seizures, mental retardation (because that is the term that was used then and trust me it smacks you in the face much harder than intellectual disability), and autism spectrum disorder and possibly a sudden unexplained death syndrome-sort of like SIDS, but for older kids with seizures. Too distraught to even talk much, we shared the news with close family via phone and email and sent them the link to the information page. Most were speechless. When you receive a diagnosis like this, I can’t even explain what it feels like. It is so many emotions and yet a complete emptiness all at once…I had this mania running through my head because I didn’t know where to turn or what to do first. You hug your family, your cry, you scream, you read and read some more. There is such a rawness and complete vulnerability that you can’t even explain or try to recreate or liken to something else. One thing the anti-vaccine people have going for them, is that there is more anti-vaccine information online than there is true vaccine information. Or it appears that way, when you’re distressed and searching at 2 am. There is a plethora of anti-vaccine information online and those folks are very good at SEO. SEO is the practice that when someone does a Google search, you want them to land on your page for certain topics so you can structure your website that way. If you do any one of numerous searches about vaccines, autism and other topics, you very likely will get many search results that contain false and inaccurate vaccine information. Yes, it is false and inaccurate. (Google has since tried to remedy this, but it still exists) However…I was in a very bad place. It was like I was walking around with no skin on. I felt like people could see into my head to see what I was thinking and doing, like they could see my soul. I am embarrassed for falling victim to this scheme and for what dangers I could have caused my family and others, but I cannot make apologies for how vulnerable I was. It’s just part of the process. When you get a diagnosis like this, you have to mourn the loss of your typical child and prepare for life with a child with special needs. One of the other steps in this process is to try to “fix” your child. And dammit, I was going to fix him. No way my kid was going to develop autism (silly me, looking back, signs of autism were present from the moment he popped out). No sir, I was going to be the mom who prevented her child from getting autism. And according to what I was reading online, one of the ways to do that was to avoid vaccines. So I did. Again, just to point out how frazzled I was at this point in life, he was 8 months old–so he already had vaccines at birth and regularly up to 8 months. But it made sense to me at the time, that’s all I can say now. I know I mentioned it to my husband but I’m not positive he fully understood what was going on–like most households, I take care of the “mom” stuff and he trusts me to do the right thing. That part hurts me–that I was trusted to just do what needed to be done and I failed. I failed my son and my husband. My husband also was dealing with the diagnosis himself and making sense of it all while trying to maintain a job and everything else. To give you a time frame, this was 2007. That’s important for several reasons. First, Jenny McCarthy’s book didn’t come out until 2008. I wasn’t listening to her. In fact, her book came out around the same time as Dr. Offit’s, and if anything, her book pushed me in the other direction. Andrew Wakefield was certainly not trusted by his {then} medical peers, but as far as the general public, he hadn’t been fully outed yet. His fraudulent study was not retracted until 2010, the same year he lost his license. British journalist Brian Deer published some of his material in 2004, but Wakefield still had a medical license and published study to fall back on. Facebook was around but still very much in it’s infancy and popular largely with just college kids and young adults. I wasn’t being presented information by my close friends, neighbors and peers. I was finding this information online, mostly just from searching and from some parenting chat boards which were popular at the time. Blogging was still also very much in it’s infancy, many people had never heard of a blog. If you saw an article online, you assumed it was from a credible source. Now that blogging and self-publishing are much more popular, we question the source more as readers. There are many blogs and anti-vaccine sites that go out of their way to design their site like a credible news site….when they are in fact, just blogs. Don’t get me wrong, I love blogs, obviously. But anyone can start one at anytime. My pediatrician. Thank goodness she was patient with me and didn’t kick me out of her practice. I still took him in for his regular checkups, and since we were still in the early phases of being diagnosed, he had many follow-up and specialist appointments. Each time, she’d ask me to vaccinate. There was lots of screaming (both of us) and tears (mine). I was belligerent, adamant and oh-so-much-more educated (ha, like most anti-vaxxers think) than the general public. I distinctly remember her saying, during many of our arguments, “Just you wait, there is information coming out….” She was aware of Dr. Offit’s book coming out, but it hadn’t been released yet. For a few months, I acted like nothing short of a giant horse’s ass. I spewed all the buzzwords-proteins, antigens, adjuvants, alternative schedule…I knew it all! This is the really embarrassing part of this journey, because when I hear or read some of what the anti-vaxxers say now, in my head I think, “I can’t believe I used to say stupid stuff like that.” They use big words. There’s a really funny and odd meme that makes the rounds of Facebook every once is a while, and it says “Vaccines don’t cause autism, they just cause demyelinating of the sheath which causes autism.” Sounds impressive, doesn’t it? TOO BAD autism is NOT a demyelinating disease! The most common demyelinating disease is MS, which is NOT autism. But this is the type of language that these folks use to sound and feel superior to you. When you are in a very vulnerable spot, it works. Once you are there, you are drawn to it. You feel like you making proactive choices for your child. You find a common bond in others who have made these choices. You seek reassurance online that these are good choices and there are plenty of people willing to reassure you. A few months went by and during another argument with my pediatrician, she pleaded with me to read Autism’s False Prophets by Dr. Offit which was just being released. And now my copy is signed…more on that later. So I did. I don’t know if it was fate, karma or me getting my feet back under me and coming to my senses….but I actually went home, ordered the book, waited a few days for it to arrive, and read it. And once I started, I couldn’t put it down. I felt ashamed, I felt scared (for what I had exposed K to), I felt stupid…I felt relieved. And then I became angry. Because here’s the thing….there is no case for not vaccinating your child. Vaccinating has risks, no one has ever claimed that it doesn’t. But the risks of NOT VACCINATING are GREATER than the risks of vaccinating. It’s really that simple. Both have risks, one has a greater risk of harm to children. So I’m angry for being lied to. Because it is all lies. As I got my feet under me, I began to embrace my child for who he is, instead of living in fear of who he may become. I felt a life calling to help children with disabilities, and in 20 years I have encountered hundreds of children with various disabilities–including some cancer patients and cancer survivors, children who are medically complex and medically fragile, and some who have other issues that cause them to be immuno-compromised. So then I get angry all over again. Because these anti-vaxxers are putting those helpless children at risk. A child who is going through chemo, and her parents…they have enough to worry about. They shouldn’t have to worry about some mom passing the flu or chicken pox onto their child because they believe false information. I get really angry when I read things like “I don’t care about herd immunity” because while you may not care, for some children, their lives depend on it. Those are the moms I want to throat-punch. (mostly kidding, I’m not violent at all, but that makes me seethe with anger) As parents of children with special needs, we are a very vulnerable population. For as much as I love my child and am able to celebrate him for who he is, we still sometimes wish there was a magic pill or potion that could make all of our struggles go away, right? There isn’t, it’s just a daydream. But, for the anti-vaxxers, they usually have an expensive and interesting array of products to go along with your not vaccinating. None of which is proven to work. If they talk you into not vaccinating, that doesn’t bring them any money. But, if they can sell you the promise of fixing your child with special diets (just buy our book for details!) or supplements (widely available on these sites) or anything else….well it’s quite a lucrative business. This one financial report for the NVIC, just one of many of these organizations, lists that they brought in a million dollars. Where did that money go? How many children did that money help? (answer: 0) Exactly zero lives were made better. They can rant all day long about ulterior motives of doctors, but the anti-vaxxers are making a very nice profit for themselves. I’m angry that I was lied to and encouraged to put my child at increased risk. He has significant special needs and is non-verbal, a headache or backache from meningitis would be impossible to recognize. He has hypotonia, which means he does not have the muscle tone or strength to produce as forceful of a cough as his peers–something like pertussis or an infection could quickly settle in his lungs and become dangerous. Plus, chromosomally, he is put together differently than you and I…at the most basic DNA level, we don’t even know if his body’s reaction to things like measles and chicken pox will be the same reaction that is seen in other kids. It could be much worse. I still get a feeling of panic and sadness when I think of what could have happened. That book changed my life. I was so impressed by Dr. Offit’s writings and his commitment to letting people know the science and what is real and true…I wanted to meet him. So one summer I arranged for a few bloggers to tour the Vaccine Education Center. I sometimes wonder, if it hadn’t been for that book, would I have come around? What would have been the catalyst for me to regain my common sense? I don’t know…but I am glad that it happened sooner rather than later. You know how when people who are former smokers…they become the most ardent supporters for people quitting smoking? It’s like that. I am determined to help my fellow special needs moms not fall victim to this nonsense. Nonsense that is actually becoming dangerous. We are seeing vaccination rates that rival some parts of developing countries in Africa. We are seeing epidemics of measles and whooping cough that we haven’t seen since the 1950s. All because fear sells. Now it’s time to fear the diseases again. Vaccine skepticism is a first world luxury. For now, anyway. So there it is, all out in the open. I think it was easier for me to come to my senses because I am a science person and skeptic anyway. I need to see evidence. I truly feel that there are probably some anti-vaxxers who are in it so deep that they can’t get out, even though in their gut they know that they have been lied to and are lying to others. It’s very hard to stand up and say “I was wrong” especially when you have put your family in danger, put other children in danger, and have encouraged other moms to do the same. But there is always time to do the right thing. You don’t have to go full force and join Shot at Life and become an advocate like I did. You can start with one big, meaningful step–take your child to get vaccinated. Get caught up on his/her vaccines, apologize that they have to do so many so late in life. Allow yourself to feel guilty for being misinformed and allow yourself to forgive yourself for that. You might also be interested in: Grieving Your Child’s Disability Diagnosis: A Controversial Conversation

Ok….i just wrote more again and got kicked out and lost everything:(. I have to submit this today and would love to talk to anyone who can answer a few questions if possible.., 310-849-8761 PRs are scored incorrectly and would like to ask the court to enforce more accountability with their progress measurement moving forward because he is not making progress, but they are just inaccurately scoring and saying he mastered something when he absolutely did not:(

Hi Carolyn:) Thank you so much for responding! Yes, I’m in Pa, and yes, I’m also recording (with permission…..finally). They do not provide the written work easily, and when they do, I have to chase it down with multiple emails for months. I still do Not have this kiddos “big” essay from his English class, in addition to almost everything else in that class (2nd semester of 9th grade, completed in June). In October, they wasted a whole, one hour IEP meeting coming up with logistics of providing his work samples on a biweekly basis, but emailed later that day stating it was not a provision of FAPE so they would not implement the plan we just created🤬. I am currently going through the records provided 2 weeks ago per our June FERPA request, and there are so many things Blatantly missing…including work (with computer submissions, I don’t know how the district would keep…. 😶 I’ve been kicked off three times now after writing much more and it all gets erased:(:(:(. I’m going to try to continue this by logging back on… I really need input so, hopefully this gets seen🙏

First of all, this sounds like a situation in which you need to be recording all meetings. But you appear to be in Pennsylvania (?), which is a two-party state, and it's unlikely the school district will agree to a recording. Does the district have a note-taker during meetings and if so, do they share the notes with you after the meeting? If not, you need to write up your own notes from the meeting and send to the team to document what was agreed to and what wasn't. You also need to respond to the NOREP with all the items that were requested and refused at the meeting, as well as ask for the reasoning behind the refusals. You may not receive a response, but at least you have the refusals documented. Refusing to add "work product" to the writing goal is ridiculous. If they refuse to add this, then just request the writing samples as a parent who has a right to see their child's work product. If they still refuse, do a FERPA request. I would think that would back them down a bit. I would think you could file for due process in this scenario since it is a substantive issue. However, I don't know how it is in Pennsylvania, but due process in my state is highly unsuccessful if you're a parent. But it might trigger a mediation, which would be good. Or can you request a mediation without filing for due process? That might be a better option. As far as the math goal, ask what data IS needed to demonstrate need/find eligibility in specific learning disability (math)? Also, call your state department of education and ask this question.

Please help. Today is NOREP day 10 for high school student with ASD, ADHD, SLD written expression😱 After meeting #10 this year, an IEE completed in June, with an advocate signed on since December, there are “surprises” in the finalized version😱. My big issue: “How Progress is Measured” next to the Writing goal. Student work samples has always been included along with their “teach checklist”, “teacher rubric”, etc. In the finalized IEP, they just put Keystone Rubric alone. They had some other rubric in the draft, which I called the advocate about prior to the meeting and told her absolutely no…that his actual work samples had to be included with the rubric for Measuring Progress. She absolutely agreed, I told them at the meeting (with advocate), and they said “ok”, but they only have Keystone Rubric and refuse to add student written work samples. They also added a ridiculous baseline right with the goal that is one paragraph from last October and was not scored properly (which underscores why the actual work must be part of the “measuring progress”. They refuse to remove this “let’s shove a bunch of crap in after the meeting and after the lawyers go over it”🤬. There are a lot of things that I’m not happy about in the IEP, but this is the last straw for me. Once I allow them to implement an IEP without using my kiddos actual written work to measure goal progress, 1) I will never get my hands on his work, and 2) they will check off boxes/rubrics/excel sheets that won’t be accurate (trust me on this) and continue to fail my kiddo forward, and right out of high school:(. Can I file due process where I do not agree to the goal measurement? (Again, for good reason because their data tracking is pitiful). I know this sounds silly, but with literally a meeting a month for 2 kids at this district, where they change goals that we agreed to at a meeting and say “we determined after the meeting”, or “we looked at the data when we were writing it up”, or “we know we agreed but we looked over the data and…”. I know that after the meetings our IEPs go through a million different hands and get “tweaked” “adjusted”, etc., and the final version Always has changes that are easy to overlook, but are important. I’m sure the answer is yes, but are they allowed to change anything they want in the final version? Because plunking in a bs baseline with the writing goal (after 10 meetings), and refusing to keep “student work samples” smells rotten to me. Written expression has been a Big Deal the whole time, so these changes are not haphazard. Also, the NOREP does not state facts in some areas: kiddo got Below Basic on May Algebra Keystones (as I predicted), he had “Needs Support” benchmarks the whole year in Algebra, his IXL (3 assessments this year, last one in May) have him at 3rd grade Geometry, 2nd grade Measurement, and 5th grade in fractions, but they say and wrote on the NOREP refusing to create a math goal because, “rejected because current educational data do not demonstrate the need for separate annual math goal.” The NOREP also does not reflect things I requested and they refused at the meeting including: Adding a goal for planning and revision for Written Expression, changing the “how disability affects student” (they have 2 silly sentences that mean nothing, so I emailed a suggestion and they emailed back 2 minutes later saying no). They have no reason… Please help. I am so frustrated and do not want another IEP to go into effect when I do not agree…..if I do agree with their progress monitoring methodology, then there is no way for me to know what they are doing or how my kiddo is doing. I have seen and dealt with disappearing writing goals for years and know that without the actual work, they can and will say anything:(

Yes, requesting a PWN is always a good idea. But it doesn't always solve the problem. Have you requested an IEP meeting with the new school district IEP team? I would do that and discuss the change in the IEP, how it would affect your daughter, and how she wasn't doing anything wrong to have it taken away from her. If you have it, I would bring data (provider recommendations, examples of meltdowns if her own iPad is taken away, etc.) showing why insisting on a school-issued iPad would create a barrier to her education. Stick to data and her legal rights. If still unresolved after the meeting, definitely request a PWN with a detailed explanation of why your request was denied.

Yes, I do, though maybe not in the way you're thinking. The present levels stuff I have is for teachers who contribute to IEPs. https://dontiepalone.com/iep-bundle-teachers/ I have lots of sample Present Levels statements, goals, accommodations, and other IEP examples in those IEP Toolkits (now sold as a bundle). I also have several articles on Present Levels. https://adayinourshoes.com/present-levels-iep/ One thing I would caution against is trying to make the Present Levels "strongly worded." Instead, make them specific, objective, and data-driven. A statement backed by data is much harder for a team to dismiss than one that's simply written with stronger language. For example, instead of saying your son has "major executive functioning challenges" or "severe work avoidance," I'd want the IEP to describe exactly what that looks like. How often does he initiate work independently? How many assignments are incomplete? How many prompts does he require? What happens when supports are removed? What is the educational impact? https://adayinourshoes.com/task-avoidance-task-initiation/ https://adayinourshoes.com/teaching-task-initiation/ For students who are cognitively strong, schools often spend a lot of time describing their strengths while minimizing how their disability affects their ability to access their education. "He's very bright" or "He's capable of grade-level work" doesn't tell the team why he's not making meaningful progress. The Present Levels should clearly explain how his executive functioning, emotional regulation, anxiety, or work-avoidant behaviors affect his ability to complete work, participate in class, make progress toward goals, and access the curriculum. That's the information that drives appropriate goals, accommodations, and services. Since you mentioned that his therapeutic school tends to downplay his needs, I'd also compare his progress reports to the actual data. Do the grades, missing assignments, behavior logs, teacher emails, or other documentation tell the same story? If not, that's something I would absolutely raise at the IEP meeting and ask the team to explain. And one last tip: whenever you see phrases like "needs occasional prompting," "sometimes struggles," or "making progress," ask for the data behind those statements. How much prompting? How often? What data shows he's making progress? Vague language is one of the biggest red flags I see in Present Levels. The more specific and measurable they are, the better the rest of the IEP will be.

Posting for a reader: Do you have templates or examples of specific and strongly worded Present Levels statements for highly cognitive teens who face social, emotional, and major executive functioning challenges? My son's therapeutic school tends to downplay his needs in his IEP and progress reports. While he has significant potential, his progress has been severely limited by massive work-avoidant behaviors. Any resources you could share to help ensure his IEP accurately reflects and addresses his challenges would be greatly appreciated.

First, I'm so sorry this happened to your son. No child should be afraid to get on the van just to get to school. And yes, I can tell you that the same thing happened to my son years ago. So yes, it absolutely can be done. In our particular case, it escalated quickly. The other boy decided that he just did not like my child (both have profound autism) and then it culminated in the other boy actually breaking Kevin's seizure helmet. I was seeing red, believe me. A few thoughts: The school district cannot simply shrug and say, "Well, the transportation company hasn't figured it out yet." The district is ultimately responsible for ensuring your child receives transportation safely if transportation is part of his educational program. Contracting with a private transportation company doesn't transfer that responsibility. If they promised you last year that your son would be on a different van, I would immediately put everything in writing (if you haven't already). I'd send an email to the special education director, transportation director, and your son's case manager. Include inyour email: The assault that occurred last year. The other dangerous behaviors you witnessed or were told about. The district's assurance that your son would be assigned to a different van this school year. That, as of today, they have not implemented that solution. That you are requesting written confirmation of the transportation plan before school begins. I would also state plainly that your son cannot safely ride with the student who assaulted him and that you are requesting transportation that allows him to access his education safely. Mention the possibilities of what could happen if this is not fixed (serious injury, school refusal). Keep everything in email/writing. (You know that's one of my favorite pieces of advice.) Would I hire an attorney today? Probably not as my very first step. I'd first create a solid paper trail showing that you've notified the district of the safety concern and given them an opportunity to fix it. If they refuse, ignore you, or insist he ride anyway despite the documented safety concerns, then it may be time to consult a special education attorney or advocate in your state. One other question: Is transportation listed as a related service on your son's IEP? If so, that strengthens your position because the district has an obligation to provide that service in a manner that is safe and appropriate. Don't let anyone minimize this by calling it "a transportation issue." Your son cannot benefit from his education if he's terrified to get on the van every day. I'd start with the paper trail. If they still refuse to act, then we can talk about the next escalation steps.

Posting for a reader: I have a question regarding the transportation for my son that his local public school provides. Last year at the end of the school year my son was attacked by another student on the same van. The student also pulled another child’s hair and also grabbed the van driver’s arm while driving. The other child goes to the same private school as my son but is a student in another school district, but the same county as we live in. The school is not in our county it is about 48 miles each way. The public schools have a contract with a local company to provide bus and van services. So they do not have the transportation hired directly. I was told that last year that by this coming school year they would put our son on a different van so that he would not need to be scared every time he got onto the van going to or from school. I am now being told that as of today they still have not resolved it van situation for this coming school year. I am not going to put my son in danger going to or from school anymore. I need some advice as to what my rights are. Should I contact a lawyer to get this problem resolved or what can I do.

We moved to our 3rd district in TN and they are stating she can't have her personal iPad with her TD Snap app but must use a school issued iPad. IEP from previous district lists her iPad as her speech generating device. In description they specifically mention my daughter "brings her own communication device to school, however the school has a backup device if needed." New school wants to replace personal iPad with school issued iPad after my nonverbal daughter was "caught" taking screenshots of the sentences she created in her own AAC device. ( My daughter is 12 and also has intellectual disabilities and will be further devasted if she can't have her own iPad.) Do I need to ask the school to provide a PWN for this?

"Schools shouldn't let a child enroll while knowing noone there is trained to teach them." Public school must enroll every student no matter what - this includes disability, English language learners, undocumented, etc. The system is set up so the public school can contract with any other school so that the student receives FAPE. Refusing to enroll a student because there is no one with expertise in the student's disability is a violation of FAPE & opens a school up to Due Process and needing to pay compensatory services. (On the other hand, not having someone with the expertise and not providing appropriate special education to an enrolled student is also a violation of FAPE & opens a school up to Due Process and needing to pay compensatory services.)

I wonder if any data has been collected on how many parents attend IEP meetings but are not able to make a valuable contribution or are too embarrassed to say that they don't understand things?

I agree with your thoughts. Although rare, these students are out there and they deserve an education. Maybe one thing that would help is to require schools to be plain and transparent with parents about the situation- making sure they understand that no one there has any training in deaf education. Raising awareness of deaf issues and needs for teachers and school leaders might also help.

If the school does do a phone call, you can follow up in an email. Hi- On 6/10, I spoke on the phone with Mrs Teacher. I was told XX, YY and ZZ. Just wanted to confirm that I got this right. No need to reply if we're on the same page with this. I know this is a PITA for a parent to send a follow up email but it does get the school's response into writing when they insist on a call.

Given you are looking to have the school to provide virtual instruction, this could be looked at as an accommodation (it's not specially designed instruction - it's specially formatted instruction). I'd want this in writing on a 504 plan. I'm leaning toward an IEP not being needed for this. The 504 keeps this on the school's radar under accommodations needed when headaches are too bad to go to school in person. The executive functioning issues might require specially designed instruction. This SDI can go on an IEP. My child had this on her 504. It worked OK.

First, a couple of questions. What is the specific disability for which she qualified under Other Heath Disability? What do you mean by "they determine the absences were her academically"? You need to ask for a revised PWN for the outcome of the eligibility meeting. It should specify under which category she meets criteria and clarify how she "meets criteria" but "doesn't qualify." At a minimum, the PWN needs to state WHY she doesn't qualify. 1. The school psychologist is correct that a goal for attendance due to a medical condition cannot be written. The hybrid model you propose is something that you should work out with the principal, as this is a general education issue and not a special education issue. You will need a doctor's note/report regarding the migraines and that her inability to attend full days in person is due to this. 2. IEPs are not limited to addressing academic struggles and/or learning differences. Just because a student is bright and capable academically does not mean services are not needed. So I would suggest not thinking in terms of "she doesn't need special education." She doesn't need it for specialized instruction in math or reading, but assuming the evaluation data shows this, she does need it for her executive functioning deficits. Saying "IEPS are only for kids with learning differences" is completely wrong. But so is saying "she doesn't need special education." Special education is much broader than addressing academics. Although I believe, as I state above, that you need to work out her general education schedule with the principal, the IEP could incorporate the hybrid schedule as an accommodation for her migraines. I don't know what a "transition plan" would look like since she has no control over her migraines. But if the data shows the need, you could absolutely have goals and instruction for turning in work on time and advocating for herself. Since the school is refusing a request (for an IEP and special services), it appears that in Minnesota the PWN must be provided to the parent within 14 calendar days of the request (so this could be interpreted as 14 days after the conciliation meeting, but this is not legal advice). You might go on the Minnesota Department of Education website and see if there is anything like a "Parents Guide to Special Education." You can also call them (specifically the special education department) and ask your question about the PWN - and anything else you have questions about.

My child has had a migraine/headache every day since January. She’s missed so much school going back all the way to the start of the year. I finally got the school to do an evaluation after asking twice. 25 school days after I first asked and two meetings after they tried to talk me out of it, they finally sent me the consent to evaluation form. And 32 And 32 school days later, I saw the results. She qualified under Part A of Other Health Disability and met the criteria in Part B/they determine the absences were her academically. But they denied her services. I didn’t get a PWN until three calendar months after the evaluation was complete (May 24 vs Feb 19) and I specifically requested it. It was incomplete and didnt include anything more than “this is late due to an oversight” and “child meets criteria and doesn’t qualify.” We had a conciliation meeting last week after I sent the letter of disagreement, and the school psychologist said that the services were denied because: 1. He can’t write a goal around attendance because it isn’t skills based. We were asking for a hybrid model where she endures language arts and math in person with her headaches every day and does the other classes online with one hour a day instruction. What goal(s) could I tell the psych to write in the IEP? 2. I am asking for special services and their IEPs go through special education and she doesn’t need special education (she’s extremely bright and capable with no learning differences). The evaluation determined executive functioning needs around organization, task initiation and completion, endurance, planning. I would think they could provide someone to teach EF; am I right? They said this was really just an attendance issues and their special education department handles IEPs but only for kids with learning differences. Since she doesn’t need special education, she doesn’t need an IEP. They are willing to temporarily set her up for the hybrid schedule, but won’t put it in an IEP. We need the IEP to return to as the headaches may come and go over the next three years, she needs a transition plan to return to a full-time in-person schedule, and she needs to learn how to get her work done on time and advocate for herself. I am still waiting for their revised PWN. How long do they have after the conciliation meeting to get it to me? I’m in MN.

@JSD24, first and foremost THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! The IEP team decided that they wanted to schedule an annual IEP review at the last minute. The date proposed fell on the same day as my child's class awards ceremony, so I they offered the following day. As I was leaving my child's ceremony, the school Principal stopped me in the hallway (with my husband and child) & thought it was a good idea to discuss if I would attend the meeting & tell me the team was recommending the completion of my child's IEP and move to a 504. I told her my child wasn't ready for that & we could discuss it in detail at the meeting. So much for confidentiality.... I read and re-read your note and did some research on IDEA & pulled out my procedural safeguards. That information helped me so much in my advocacy for my child. The school was recommending completion based on the data they collected which wasn't measurable (or complete) and seemed to want to use the 15 month old re-eval data. And then they tried to say that they didn't have to do evaluations to declassify him. They said my state doesn't require that and I said I go by federal law (IDEA), not state law. When they realized those tactics wouldn't work, the gaslighting started "I didn't say that we were removing his IEP." Silly rabbit, I have it in an E-mail. I also need to thank @Lisa Lightner for having the Middle School/High School webinar. That helped me so much with having an idea on what I need to discuss with the Middle School for my child's IEP. I only hope that the school and I have a smoother transition and more open communication when we have our meetings. I have my follow-up meeting with my child's Elementary School tomorrow to go over the draft IEP. I'm sure it'll be interesting and they're probably happy to be rid of me. Thank you again for your time, I sincerely appreciate your assistance.

Co-lab is probably the same thing, EXCEPT make sure that you get the push-in minutes defined as to how many and in what classes and that they are documented in the IEP. As far as phone calls, yes, it's very difficult to get a school district to only converse by way of email. The solution to that is to take good notes during the phone call (you can ask them to slow down or repeat something if you're having trouble keeping up with your note-taking). Then send the important parts (what was agreed to, what was denied, etc.) of the discussion in an email to whoever you spoke with stating "this is what I took away from our conversation" or something to that effect. Another option is to request another IEP meeting. Then you can get whatever was agreed to or denied in a PWN. Did you receive a PWN after this most recent meeting stating they are taking away all her instructional minutes? JSD is correct that they must evaluate to show she no longer has this need - if she didn't meet her goals, I don't know how they can argue that. If she cannot yet advocate for herself, the accommodations should not be on her. For instance, they should read that the teacher will check it to make sure she is on task, understands the assignment, etc. Ideally, she should have a goal for self-advocacy, especially since she has documented poor executive functioning, They definitely need to keep minutes in some form whether that be push-in or pull-out. As far as typing, that is no longer taught in most school districts (which is weird given everyone needs to have that skill). You will need to enroll her in an online course (or two) for that. Because you are correct, she needs to learn that skill. If it has been a year since her last evaluation, you need to request one and make sure it is done in all areas with which you are concerned. After that, you can request an IEE if the school district is still not doing the right thing.

Hi Carolyn, Thank you for your insight and help. It wasn't clear if they were offering "push-in minutes"., but I can ask for that now that I know the term. They said she would be placed in something called "Co-lab" which has a general education teacher + a special education teacher who would help if needed. I don't know how many kids would be in the class and how many would be assigned to the special educaiton teacher in the class either. I emailed them asking for the info and they want to do a phone call instead. I wish they would just answer my questions in writing via email. My child is horrible at asking for help in class (I suspect she doesn't want others to see she needs help and seen as weak possibly). She has ADHD, so she needs an adult to keep her on task and to help her start boring tasks. I have to sit next to her and keep her on task and direct her a lot at home to help catch her up on her in-class school work that she did not finish in class, + the homework that needs to be completed at home. Her written expression is extremely low on the state testing. In class, her in class school work is barely done. Her IEP has goals for starting a writing task, sustaining a writing task, Wilson's pull out for spelling, and has pull out for written expression with goal to write a short paragraph. She has trouble memorizing phonics and blending sounds when reading as she has a poor working memory for these, but has no problem memorizing facts about her favorite tv shows. Maybe they can give push or pull in/out minutes and typing class? She does not like using speech to text in school as I suspect it makes her stand out and makes others aware she can not type well. At home she if comfortable using speech to text, but it doesn't always understand her or work well (not sure which is the issue).

If they are ending IEP supports, they need to be doing a reevaluation showing there is no longer a need for these services. And if you don't agree with the school's eval because you feel a student in MS should be able to write a paragraph w/o help, you can ask for an IEE at school expense. Also, if this MS doesn't have what your child needs, your school can pay for another school that does provide what's needed. This is the right option if they don't have what's needed. This happens a lot: https://adayinourshoes.com/what-to-do-when-school-says-we-dont-do-that-here/ Gifted students like yours do tend to mask their disability. This could be why the teacher isn't seeing the need. IEP evals are normed and should be able to detect if a student is masking...which is why you end IEPs with an eval and not a progress report showing there is no longer a need for services.

This can also be a sign of school climate & culture. In other words, it can be a sign that the adults in the building see student who need extra help as 'less than'. I think it's a great idea to teach self-advocacy and a quick comeback works great. The truth is that adults need help too. Most people don't DIY everything. They have people who cut their grass, fix their plumbing, repair/maintain their car... I'd want to know how pervasive things like this are in a building. I know my daughter was bullied for going to pull-outs in elementary school. Hers were for gifted enrichment and cello lessons. I found this out too late to offer advice on how to deal with it.

Many school districts want to stop pull out minutes in middle and high school. Sometimes it is for good reasons, such as the student know longer wants to be seen by their peers as being pulled out for special education. Sometimes it's for "bad" reasons such as they don't want to utilize resources for pull out minutes in middle and high school (not a valid reason if the student still needs pull out minutes). But they usually at least offer "push in" minutes. Did they do that here? At a minimum, I would ask for those instead of just jumping from push in instruction to nothing, especially if she is not on grade level for writing. If the data justifies it, ask for push in minutes to get help with writing. This is not necessarily obvious to the rest of the class, as the person is often helping other students, as well. Having said that, if the need is there for pull out minutes, you can definitely fight for that. "We don't do that" is not a valid reason. But you do need data. It sounds like your daughter only has a goal for spelling within the "specialized instruction for writing" category. This is a tough one to keep as it's not a well defined sub-category of written expression. So you will have to show a need. Does she spell well enough for spell check to know what she's trying to spell and does she have this accommodation? If so, that may be all you can get. However, if she is so poor at spelling that the accommodation is useless OR the teacher cannot understand what she is trying to say in a sentence/paragraph/essay, that is an argument for a spelling goal. due to her spelling deficit affecting her ability to access FAPE. Moving forward make sure to have all written work sent home so that you can see her output and start collecting data to make your argument. But it sounds like your daughter needs more than a spelling goal if she cannot write a 3 sentence paragraph on her own (start collecting the data on this, as well). To get that you will need to ask for an evaluation in the area of academics, specifically, written expression. If the evaluation comes back with low enough scores to find eligibility in written expression, there's the data you need to either get pull out or push in minutes. If they still refuse, ask for an IEE. Finally, is there any concern about dyslexia or dyslexic tendencies here? With her being 2e, she may very well have been masking this throughout elementary school (by memorizing and figuring out words from context) and may present as reading on grade level. If you have any concerns at all about this, also ask for an evaluation in the area of reading. Make sure they do subtests that dig into phonological awareness and phonics (the very basics of reading foundation) because that's where these type of students usually slip through the cracks. But not having the foundational skills in place usually catches up with them at some point.

We had our middle school articulation meeting as my child (ADHD & 2e, with poor executive function) is going into middle school next year. They said they will keep all my child's accommodations, but not the pull outs because the school "doesn't do that". Is this legal? She has not met her most of her IEP goals. And has definitely the goals for spelling and executive function. She gets pulled out for spelling using Wilsons. Yet her spelling is below grade level and she can not write a 3 sentence paragraph independently on her own. I pointed out her spelling issues and they just replied they don't grade spelling in middle school, so it is not an issue. I disagreed and said that doesn't matter, she is not at grade level and can't write an essay on her own. They just repeat that they "don't do that" in middle school. What can I do to get her pull outs in middle school? Or do I need to advocate they pay for tutoring for spelling and writing skills? Or is there something else I can ask for here in CA? They don't offer up solutions.