Can they force me to let them change his diaper?

[Jennifer11]

Hi! Can they force me to let them change his diaper? Any time he needs a change I go to the school to change his diaper. We also have regularly scheduled times for me to change him. I’m always available, and do not want them touching his private parts. They don’t like that I come to change him, and keep harassing me to let them change him. Can they force me to let them change his diaper? 

[Lisa Lightner]

No, he needs a PCA. Or the school nurse can do it.

[JSD24]

The school should be providing FAPE.  Your time is valuable so relying on you to do what their staff should be doing really isn't FAPE.  The truth is that many kids will need to have diapers changed at school.  They need to have staff that can do this.

There are some schools where most of the students are very delayed & in diapers.  It would be pandemonium to have parents coming to school to do this.  Rules vary from state to state on who is allowed to change a diaper.  In PA, it's a nurse or a PCA.  In other states, the teacher or other types of aides can change a diaper.  You might want to ask the school what sort of certification is needed for staff who will be doing this since you seem to want assurance that they will be professional with this task.

[Jennifer11]

He’s old enough to know that he doesn’t want people at school touching his privates. And I don’t want strangers touching his privates either. It’s not appropriate or dignified.  Can you clarify—can they force me to let them change him? 

[JSD24]

Strangers shouldn't be touching his privates - I agree with you on that.  When a student isn't able to be independent with toileting, it's on the school to care for that student as in loco parentis.  Your child is under the care and supervision of the school during school hours.  They are not obligated to allow anyone other than school personnel into their buildings.

At school, his in loco parentis should be changing him.  If he loses a tooth, they should be helping with that.  If he needs his shoe tied, they should deal with it.  I remember one of the school nurses telling me about a girl who needed to be catheterized in order to pee.  It was the school nurse who did this - not a stranger.  This was at a middle school and they had a male nurse - one nurse for the whole school.

There are times when schools are put into lockdown and no one is allowed to enter.  What happens if he needs a change then?  To not change him would be neglect.  They are going to handle changes the same way you would and it would be appropriate because they are in loco parentis - they aren't strangers.  If they are not handing this in a dignified manner, call them out - they should be.