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This is a tough one. I'm sure Lisa will chime in with some great suggestions. Here's what I'm thinking. In general, a parent cannot dictate who the staff member is - but can dictate that they be trained to provide the necessary services and accommodations to the child. So that would be one question to look into: What is the training of the person(s) the school is considering for his 1:1? If not sufficient (you'll need a report that sets out what your son needs), make that argument (which might lead to them hiring someone else). You could also ask that during the transition period (and this is a huge transition) that your son's current care attendant be allowed to be the aid in tandem with whoever will be fulling this role at the school. It might make the transition easier and you have the letter that this is recommended. You would, of course, have to pay/have Medicaid pay for the current care attendant's time to help with the transition. I don't know much about how Medicaid factors into this. Does this funding stop when a child reaches Kindergarten? Or would it be possible to continue with the same care attendant and just obtain the school's approval that this person be the 1:1? (Can't see why they would object to this - would help them out tremendously - but there could be liability issues, union issues, etc.) This is not my area of expertise so just speaking generally. Hopefully others with more experience will join the discussion.

The notes she has from the teacher ARE her notes pursuant to her IEP. She should be allowed to use them in any way other students use their notes. If all other students are allowed to use their notes for a test, she should be allowed to use her teacher-provided notes. Since you're short on time, I would reach out to the entire IEP team asking for assistance. If you don't hear back quickly, reach out (maybe call) the director of special education. If you have a phone call (or calls) make sure to write everything down that was said.

Great information, JSD! Just a side note to this post and something I just found out. The US Department of Education's acronym is ED (Education Department) to distinguish it from the US Department of Energy (DOE).

You can get a BIP without an FBA, but it's not best practice. More here: https://adayinourshoes.com/behavior-iep-special-education/ And, more here (sorry I'm on my way out the door): https://adayinourshoes.com/one-on-one-aide-paraprofessional-iep-special-education/

I feel an eval is needed. Reading should be assessed so she can have access to audiobooks in college. (Are audiobooks a current accommodation?) Let them do the RR (likely what they have time to do & be in compliance for triennial eval timelines) and then the full eval over the summer. She seems more like SDL Reading than OHI but dyslexia and ADHD & EF issues as well as anxiety can be comorbid. If you do college visits this summer, pop into the disabilities office and ask them what they want in order to provide accommodations. I have an advocate friend who suggests a disabled child stay within a 2-3 hour radius of home in case parents need to stop by and help them during the course of their college career.

First—great job pushing to get this clarified in the IEP. Vague accommodations are basically useless when every teacher gets to “interpret” them differently. A few tips to consider: Define It in Plain Language Example: “Student will receive two additional school days, not calendar days, beyond the original due date for all assignments, unless otherwise mutually agreed upon in writing.” Add Clarification for When Teachers Are Absent Example: “If the teacher is absent on the original or extended due date, the due date will automatically extend by the number of days the teacher is unavailable.” Include a Communication Expectation Example: “Teachers will communicate any adjusted due dates in writing (email or learning management system) so the student and parent have clear documentation.” Specify for Tests and Quizzes Example: “Student will receive time and a half for all in-class tests and quizzes, consistent with College Board-approved accommodations.” Request Staff Training or Clarification Ask that teachers be given written instructions from the case manager or IEP team about how this is supposed to work across all classes. You’re definitely on the right track. Tightening up the language now will save you a ton of headaches later.

Whew—this is such a powerful, clear, and unfortunately very common story for 2e (twice exceptional) kids in public school. First, you’re doing everything right—you’ve documented, provided outside data, shown samples, advocated consistently, and kept the focus on your child’s actual experience—not just the grades or scores. Here’s the heart of the issue: your son is masking his disabilities with his strengths, and the school is choosing to see only the strengths. That’s not just frustrating—it’s a systemic failure for so many 2e kids. You're right that "relative to ability" isn't part of the eligibility criteria under IDEA anymore, and that makes it harder to qualify under SLD if a student is still performing at or above grade level. But nothing in the law says schools can't consider the discrepancy between a student’s ability and their actual performance—or how hard they’re working to maintain those grades. That’s a red flag the team is ignoring. Here are some suggestions and next steps: 1. Ask for an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) at public expense. If the school’s reevaluation was surface-level or didn't fully assess his functional performance, especially in reading and writing under stress or timed conditions, this is your next move. You have the right to request it if you disagree with their evaluation. Read up before you do this (info on my site) because if the school declines, they're required to file for due process. 2. Ask for data on how the writing accommodations are being implemented. Teacher conferencing sounds nice, but without documentation, it's fluff. Ask: How often is it happening? What is being taught or corrected? How is progress tracked? I have a mini course on IEP progress monitoring. 3. Push for goals and services in written expression. You have the samples. You have the documentation. He’s not meeting grade-level expectations independently. Use that language. Ask for a meeting to specifically address writing fluency, spelling, and on-demand writing without supports. 4. Bring in the emotional impact. Stress, shutdown, refusal—these are all signs that he's not accessing the curriculum in a meaningful, functional way. Emotional distress is educational impact under IDEA. 5. Reframe the “good grades” argument. Say: “Good grades with heavy scaffolding are not the same as skill mastery. He is not progressing independently or sustainably. That’s not FAPE.” 6. Consider requesting an FBA. If he's overwhelmed, shutting down, or showing behavior at home tied to school stress, an FBA for emotional regulation in response to school demands might help. It also gives you a documented path toward support if burnout increases. 7. Lean into transition goals as you head toward high school. That self-advocacy skill you mentioned? That should be in the IEP. You can ask for direct instruction in self-advocacy and executive functioning as he prepares for the next stage. I know it’s exhausting—and it’s not fair that your son’s strengths are being used against him. But the fact that he wants to be in school, wants to do well, and is finally starting to speak up for himself? That’s a huge win. You’re not overreacting. You’re seeing the iceberg the school is trying to ignore—and trying to steer your son safely past it. I have sample language for these requests, letter templates, in the IEP toolkit which is being revised right now. You're doing an incredible job.