Lisa Lightner

You’re not off base at all. In fact, your instincts here are exactly what any evaluator, advocate, or data-driven teacher would say: if the grades aren’t accurate, the data can’t be used to make instructional decisions. A few points you can include in your reply to the teacher or in the IEP meeting: 1. It’s not about “passing vs failing”it’s about skill acquisition. A 65% and an 8% may both be technically failing, but they tell very different stories about your daughter’s decoding, comprehension, writing, task completion, and general access to the curriculum. Inflated grades erase the picture you need in order to support her. 2. This practice undermines IEP progress monitoring. IEP teams rely on accurate performance data to determine present levels, goal mastery, and whether accommodations and services are effective. If the numbers aren’t real, the team loses the ability to make informed decisions—and your outside evaluation won’t match the school data. 3. You can acknowledge the teacher’s intent while still correcting the issue. Most teachers who do this are trying to prevent a student from being crushed by a failing grade or are following a building-level practice they’ve been told is “helpful.” A script you can use: “I appreciate that you’re trying to support her emotionally and academically. My concern is that for IEP purposes esp with new evaluation results coming, we need accurate data so we can pinpoint where she’s struggling. Even if the grade is low, it helps us understand what level of support is actually needed.” 4. You can request a team discussion without making it personal. This is a data-collection and IEP-implementation issue, not a teacher-blaming issue. You can say: “Could we clarify as a team how grades should reflect actual performance? I want to make sure we’re collecting authentic data so we can align her services to her needs.” 5. What the teacher is doing isn’t best practice. Grade inflation for students with disabilities is incredibly common, but it’s also one of the top reasons students look “fine on paper” while falling further behind. If her real performance is an 8%, it’s a sign that the current IEP isn't addressing the gap, not a sign that her grades need softening. 6. The timing is actually ideal. You have an outside assessment ready to go. This discrepancy between “reported grades” and “actual ability” is exactly the kind of evidence that strengthens your case for stronger supports, services, and maybe even modified curriculum or more direct instruction. I have a ton more information about this-- https://adayinourshoes.com/goals-grades-iep-special-education/ https://adayinourshoes.com/adverse-educational-impact/ https://adayinourshoes.com/child-does-not-qualify-for-an-iep/

Reader question: My 6th grader has an established IEP that I'm not satisfied with. We've actually had an outside educational assessment completed and I meet for that feedback appointment this Friday. I've just realized that her ELA teacher is making a note of my daughter's actual grade (which is sometimes an 8%..) but the teacher is loading 65% as her grade. When I asked her about it, she shared, "The speech bubble is the actual grade she made on the assignments. I went back on Monday and changed her 60's and put them in as a 65 instead, because a 65 and 44 are both failing, but the 65 is easier to bring up. I don't mind doing this to help her since she is completing 6th grade level work, while her reading level is below grade level." I'm really uncomfortable with this because it is not accurate data collection. An 8% is very far away from a 65% in terms of us thinking about her understanding and level of support needed. Am I off base here? I want to maintain a good relationship with this teacher, who has attended my daughter's IEP meetings in the past. But I feel like putting in inaccurate scores is data collection 101..

The bills you’re describing in Wisconsin aren’t happening in a vacuum. What you’re seeing—vague “disruptive behavior” language, broadened removal authority, mandatory parental notifications, and zero disability protections—is part of a coordinated national movement. And yes, it’s absolutely tied to the larger “law and order,” anti-public-schools, anti-inclusion policy wave we’ve been watching for years. Here’s what’s behind it, and what’s driving the similarity of these bills across states. These bills match the pattern of ALEC-style model legislation While ALEC hasn’t released one single widely publicized discipline “model bill,” the structure of AB613/AB614 follows the playbook: Broad definitions of “disruption” Increased teacher authority to remove students A required re-entry condition (often disguised as a “BIP requirement”) Mandatory reporting requirements framed as “parental rights” Exemptions for private/voucher schools Zero mention of IDEA protections That combination is too consistent to be random. In multiple states, lawmakers have referred to “model discipline legislation” they are “adapting,” which is usually legislative shorthand for ALEC, the Heritage Foundation, or a state-level conservative policy shop providing the template. Heritage’s Project 2025 absolutely includes a discipline agenda Project 2025 has an explicit goal of: Increasing “school safety authority” Weakening federal civil rights oversight Removing “barriers” to discipline Reducing “overreach” of IDEA, Section 504, and OCR Shifting control from federal protections to state-level discretion That “re-entry requirement” you noticed? It’s completely aligned with the Heritage position that districts should be able to exclude students who require behavior supports without worrying about IDEA compliance. So yes this is connected. AEI’s Conservative Education Reform Network (CERN) is part of this ecosystem Daniel Buck is not random.CERN regularly pushes: Zero-tolerance discipline “Order and culture” frameworks Reduced “behavioral accommodation expectations” for teachers Opposition to restorative practices Narratives about inclusion harming “classroom learning” CERN content is often directly cited in state-level hearings in TX, FL, AL, and now WI. AEI isn’t the originator, but it is the megaphone. Voucher and privatization lobbies are heavily involved One major red flag you already noted: These bills never apply to voucher or private schools.!!!!!!! That’s intentional. The architecture is: Make public schools seem chaotic and unsafe Strip public schools of tools and funding Increase public frustration Expand vouchers as the “solution” Funnel tax dollars into private schools not bound by civil rights law Reduce overall public investment in IDEA enforcement The discipline bills are part of the destabilization strategy. Disability and civil rights organizations are waving massive red flags DRCs, COPAA, NDRN, and state disability councils have all flagged identical concerns across multiple states: Increased removals of disabled students Disproportionate removal of Black and brown students Clear FERPA violations disguised as “parental rights” IDEA re-entry restrictions that directly violate federal law Lack of funding for mandated interventions Backdoor pathways to removing students who require support Every state sees the same pattern because the bills are drawing from the same origin sources. What’s different about Wisconsin’s versions? From what you described, WI’s bills have two particularly extreme elements: Same-day classroom-wide notification for any removal or emergency drill This absolutely chills inclusion. Peers and parents will deduce exactly who was removed. Requiring a BIP for re-entry Schools are not legally permitted to condition access to FAPE on completion of a Behavior Intervention Plan. That’s why you felt in your gut that this is an IDEA violation—it is. The broader context: gutting OSEP and federal oversight The timing is coordinated: Federal moves to weaken OSEP State bills weakening discipline protections Simultaneous voucher expansion Increased attacks on inclusion More rhetoric about “dangerous” or “disruptive” students All of these pieces fit together into the long-term strategy of: Shift control to states → strip oversight → reframe disability supports as burdens → expand privatization. You’re not imagining the pattern. The one piece of good news in WI Your Democratic governor’s veto is a meaningful barrier right now. But the presence of these bills indicates where the agenda is headed long-term. Your response (writing legislators, pushing for funding, naming the FERPA and IDEA violations, and coordinating with WI BPDD) is exactly what stops these bills from passing quietly under the radar. And your instincts are correct: this is bigger than Wisconsin. This is part of a national movement to rewrite discipline and inclusion norms in public education.

Posting with permission from email: Good afternoon Lisa! I've been a longtime follower in your FB A Day In Our Shoes group and really appreciate your posts and perspectives. I'm also quite active in state disability advocacy. I live in WI, am very active with our Board for People w/Developmental Disabilities (WI BPDD) and completed their Partners In Policy-making training about 10 years ago. The reason I'm reaching out today is because WI Republicans have introduced a couple of very alarming education related bills re discipline and parental rights/notification this week. I sat thru a livestream of most of the discussion and public testimony at an education committee public hearing yesterday. I'll give you a few WI specific details, but I did a quick search and see that TX passed a similar bill and FL and AL are also discussing similar sounding bills - most call it a "Teachers Bill of Rights" and the conservatives are stressing the need to bring "Law and Order" back into schools, to "control" student behavior better, to stop "disruptive" students from interfering with the learning for other students. Are you aware of any bill mills or conservative groups that are churning out these types of school discipline bills? I'm wondering if ALEC or voucher lobby or Project 2025 is pushing this. Seems like some similar language and similar harshly punitive measures are included regardless of state. WI may have worse reporting/notification requirements than other states. One of the most ardent supporters, and disturbing testimonies, was from a young man named Daniel Buck who works at AEI in the Conservative Education Reform Network (CERN). I know AEI is a right-wing, partisan org but I'm not familiar w/CERN. In WI the bills (AB613 and AB614) use vague language and subjective judgment to expand the definition of "disruptive" behavior that would qualify for a teacher removing a student from the class. Includes the student being too "boisterous," too loud, "interrupting" instructional time, not complying with classroom rules, along with safety concerns or actual violence. Then would require a BIP be in place before the student could return to the same classroom (conservatives called it the "re-entry requirement" which frankly sounds like an IDEA violation.) Additionally, any time a student is removed from a classroom for any reason (disruptive student or even emergency drills) the principal is mandated to send an email notification to every parent in the classroom before 5 pm on the *same day* as the incident. The bill authors claim that since the disruptive student won't be specifically named, that these notifications do not breech student privacy rights. (Of course all advocates, and indeed the WI Disability Rights office, are calling out this blatant FERPA violation.) On top of that, none of the state's voucher schools or private schools are included in mandates of these bills. And students with disabilities are not exempted or protected in any way in this bill. And of course this is an unfunded mandate. It was immediately clear from reading thru the first time that this makes it easier for teachers to exclude students with disabilities and will jeopardize all gains re inclusive public schools. The likely ostracizing of students w/disabilities, students of color and their families is very concerning. And on top of the federal govt gutting OSEP feels very discouraging. I'm not freaking out because we have a Democratic Governor who supports public education and even if the bills pass, he will veto them. And I'm writing to my state representatives to advocate for increased funding, smaller class size, additional resources and prof devt, more staffing, more support services, etc. I'm also contacting my Federal legislators to protect IDEA/Dept of Ed. Just wondering what you are seeing/hearing about "safety" or "teacher rights" bills in different states. Part 2: You are welcome to use the info I shared as a lead for your own article/post and fine to leave in references to WI. Wisconsinites didn't get very much lead time, but it was a publicly noticed hearing for our state Assembly Committee on Education and a recording is available by the non-profit media organization called WisEye. (If you'd like a link to the recording, just let me know. But I also understand you may be more interested in broad strokes rather than a deep dive into a specific state's proposals.) I've put a pin in CERN to go back and get more info later. I'm interested in getting a bit more background on Daniel Buck, the AEI and CERN guy. He seems quite young but claims to have been a classroom teacher (English at middle school level), an Administrator (maybe Asst Principal at an elite or private charter) and now an "expert" on discipline in k-12 public schools - which seems like a rather fast career arc and reminds me of Michelle Rhee (who was also very connected/funded by voucher special interests.) I also thought it odd that when I was doing a quick search re other states, Daniel Buck's name kept coming up. He not only had an op-ed specific to these WI discipline bills in our local Milw Journal-Sentinel newspaper, but he had published the same post in a bunch of private college student newspapers (USC, Duke, Texas A&M and Clemson were high up in search results, there may have been others.) And he also published the same post in a handful of professional sports teams "news" sites for fans (NOLA's Saints, Baltimore Ravens, etc. all under a USA Today banner.) Why would a student in NC or a football fan in LA care about a state bill in WI? His highlighted subhead was "I hope partisan politics doesn’t prevent legislators from scoring these obvious wins for WI schools." But he's the one supporting partisan politics and clearly a paid private lobbyist. And these bills are a tremendous loss for students with disabilities and students of color. Also, FWIW, there is another WI player that is huge in attacking public schools. That would be WI Inst for Law and Liberty (WILL). They've been at it for over a decade but have grown their staff and are wickedly well funded. They frequently threaten or do sue local school districts, push the toxic "parent rights" bills, and partnered with some WI chapters of Moms for Liberty. WILL seems to be a mush of private voucher lobbyists, libertarians and tea-party conservatives. Primary donor is the Bradley Fndn, but similar to Koch network, they are enmeshed with many other far-right groups. Anyway, I appreciate your interest and look forward to reading your article.

You are doing the work of three systems—parent, advocate, and tutor—because the school system keeps failing both of your girls. And you’re right: time really is the most critical factor for dyslexia intervention. Everything you’ve described (gaslighting, “she’s smart so she doesn’t need help,” Response-to-Intervention purgatory, private interventions doing the heavy lifting) is extremely common in dyslexia cases. Let’s break down your actual questions, because they’re the part you can take action on right now. What happens to an IEP when a child is homeschooled? An IEP only applies to public school enrollment. If you withdraw to homeschool: The IEP becomes inactive, not “closed” or “deleted.” The district still has Child Find obligations, meaning they must evaluate a homeschooled child if you request it. You do not receive special education services automatically while homeschooling. Some states allow limited services through “equitable services” plans—look at your state's regs to find what is available to you So: If you homeschool, the IEP stops being implemented. You become the service provider. You essentially are waiving your right to FAPE. That doesn’t mean you’re shut out of supports forever—you can always re-enroll later and the district must evaluate again. Can your eldest still participate in "this" Club and orchestra while homeschooling? This part varies by state and by district policy. In Missouri: The state does not require districts to allow homeschooled students to participate in extracurriculars. Many districts do allow partial participation (especially band/orchestra), but it’s local policy, not a right. You would need to check your district’s board policy under “homeschool participation” or “nonpublic student activities.” If the district says no, you’d look at: Community orchestras Youth music programs at local colleges Church or community clubs Online or homeschool academic competitions 4-H, Scouts, or STEAM clubs Dyslexia-friendly book clubs or enrichment groups Middle-school extracurriculars can be rebuilt, but you’ll want clarity before you make any decisions. Why your youngest “doesn’t qualify” — even with an outside dyslexia diagnosis This is another common pattern: Schools over-rely on: High IQ Good grades Processing speed “She’s not failing” “She’s doing well enough” But IDEA does not require a child to fail to qualify. It requires: A disability AND an educational impact The IEE showing dyslexia is educational impact. Poor oral reading fluency is educational impact. Needing 2–3 hours of private tutoring weekly is educational impact. Schools simply don’t want to open IEPs for kids who appear “bright,” because they mistakenly assume dyslexia can be outsmarted. You are not imagining the gaslighting. You are not imagining the delays. And you are not imagining the difference private tutoring makes—because fidelity and intensity matter, and that’s exactly what schools often avoid providing. If you homeschool now, can you return later with an IEP? Yes. If you re-enroll: You immediately request evaluations The district must respond within legal timelines Your previous IEP and IEEs still matter as data They cannot require you to “try RTI again” before evaluating You are not locked out for life. Is homeschooling the only way to get them what they need? Not necessarily, but many dyslexia families choose it because: They’re already doing the tutoring They’re already providing the curriculum They’re already filling all the gaps They’re exhausted from fighting for basic literacy Your youngest is getting more structured literacy at home and with private tutors than most districts ever provide. Your eldest is thriving academically because of what you arranged outside of school—not because the school delivered structured intervention consistently. Homeschooling may reduce the daily battles, but you’d be trading those battles for the responsibility of designing their academic roadmap. Big picture: what you’re experiencing is a systemic failure, not a parenting failure This is the dyslexia cycle many families fall into: School delays evaluation School minimizes results Child falls years behind Parents privately tutor School uses the private progress to deny services Child internalizes “I’m not smart enough” Parents become the only consistent intervention provider Eventually the whole system feels unsustainable You’re not wrong to consider homeschooling. You’re also not wrong to keep pushing the district. Either path is valid; the right choice is the one that protects your girls’ mental health, self-esteem, and access to structured literacy.

I have two daughters, ages 11 (dyslexia and ADHD) and 7 (mild dyslexia; attention issues but not considered ADHD). My eldest has an IEP (obtained in late 3rd- Spring 2023/early 4th grade Fall 2023; private diagnosis of dyslexia and ADHD was done outside of school by Oct 2023-Jan 2024 to have a specific name for her struggles). When I switched from the choice school she was attending at the time of her initial IEP (who seemed to have a good reputation on paper), back to our district school, she was reading approximately 3-4 grades below level. I switched b/c the school team was dragging their feet about helping her (Just read to her/Response to Intervention purgatory for a couple years before finally evaluating her etc., then , using weak IEP goals and interventions, while simultaneously telling me how talented and skilled they were, and 'that she was being educated by the best...she's smart, maybe she'll catch up someday...etc.' I also noticed that my youngest (who was in kindergarten at the original school) was starting to struggle a bit with reading as well, and didn't want to face a similar process with her at the choice school. I enlisted the help of a mom who was getting training in Orton Gillingham the summer of the school switch (2024), then placed her in an online private tutoring program, Dyslexia On Demand-CALT tutors; Take Flight Program, by Fall 2024. The private interventions made the most difference. I started seeing progress with her reading improving by the Fall of 2024, even with just the mom helping her in the summer. She's also done really well with the Dyslexia on Demand tutors, and has improved by several grade levels in a year with them (reading at around a 4th grade level; up from K-1st or so when we left the previous school). The original school district (transfer school area), has been slightly more helpful for my eldest ( took temporary services from pro-bono lawyer and advocate), but got her IEP goals straightened out somewhat). I still wrestle with the schools a bit with appropriate programs, intensity, fidelity, etc. but it's a little better than the previous school. Eldest is currently in middle school in Jr Beta Club and orchestra etc., along with her core classes. I have struggled a bit more, however with advocating for my youngest. She is currently in the 2nd grade and I can't get an IEP for her. I had an advocate last year at transfer school (advocate no longer available this year, and I'm back to being gaslight more again this year). In May 2024 before we transferred, I had a CALT do a dyslexia screening which indicated struggle. School evaluated her, and explained away signs of struggle on her testing, and said no IEP needed (Fall/Winter 2024). Had an IEE via the district, which also found struggle, and she received a diagnosis of mild dyslexia and attention issues (Spring of 2025; school didn't meet with me before end of year to discuss it). Fall 2025: School data and evaluations indicate poor oral reading fluency, as well, but the school team said, that because her IQ was above average, high processing speed and grades were good so far, no IEP needed (despite IEE results as well as standardized testing indicating reading struggle). I feel that time is of the essence. I'll do what I can to keep trying to get her an IEP, but I'm also looking into homeschooling. I am getting weary of wrestling to meet my girls' basic needs, being gaslit, delayed, denied, and wasting more precious time for them. I also want to customize their learning experience a bit more, improve their self esteem etc. (They often make comments about not being smart enough, and my eldest also sees a psychologist weekly for support after her experiences at the previous school). Question: What happens to the IEP when one goes the homeschool route? Can my eldest still access the school (name) Club and orchestra if in homeschool? Or would we need to seek community resources for this? I look forward to your thoughts.

This is incredibly frustrating, and what you’re seeing is a combination of federal rules and local interpretation, not a sign that students suddenly stopped needing support. If anything, I've always argued that when a child moves, and loses their "community" and friends etc., ,it should be expected that needs have increased, not decreased. Moving is stressful. Here’s what’s going on: 1. Federal law (IDEA) requires schools to honor an incoming IEP. When a military family transfers mid-year, the new district must provide services comparable to the previous IEP until it conducts its own evaluations and writes a new one. That’s not optional. 2. However, (your state) uses a very tight interpretation of eligibility categories. Some states are more flexible with diagnosing learning disabilities, autism, speech/language needs, or OHI (ADHD/anxiety). A child who qualifies in Colorado or Virginia may not meet Missouri’s criteria. This leads to: Parents arriving with a valid IEP The district “reviewing” it And then determining....sometimes very quickly....that the student “doesn’t qualify” under Missouri’s rules It feels like rejecting the IEP, but technically they are saying the student doesn’t meet state criteria once reevaluated. Know that I have seen this allllll over the place, in both military and non-military families who moved. Military families feel this more intensely because they move so often. Transitions mean repeated reevaluations, and Missouri’s stricter criteria create a pattern where incoming students repeatedly lose eligibility. Teachers often feel helpless watching it happen. You’re not imagining it, and you’re not the only one saying it. This has been raised at state and federal levels because it causes academic and emotional whiplash for kids. What families can do: Bring all outside evaluations with them Request Prior Written Notice when eligibility is denied Request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE) if they disagree Document educational impact, not just test scores Connect with the installation EFMP office, this is exactly what they’re there for (there are other military resources too) Request stay-put protections when appropriate (during mid-year moves) And no, wanting services doesn’t equal “over-qualifying” students. These children had legally valid IEPs in their previous state. Missouri’s process simply creates a higher barrier. What you’re witnessing is exactly why parent advocates are needed.

Posting from email: Do you know why it is so hard to qualify for an IEP in (redacted)? I have many military parents who transfer to the school I work at, (redacted), with their child who just qualified for an out-of-state IEP. As soon as they transfer into our district, their IEP is rejected. It is the hardest thing for a special education teacher to watch and not be able to do anything.

Schools are required to allow service animals under the ADA, but emotional support animals (ESAs) are different. ESAs are not automatically permitted in K–12 settings, even with a doctor’s note. For a dog to be approved, the key question becomes: Is this the only effective support for the child’s anxiety at school? If other evidence-based supports work, the dog becomes harder to justify. That said, there are pathways families sometimes use when an animal is truly part of a child’s disability-related support. Here’s how to think about it through the IEP/504 lens: The school must first identify the disability-related need.If anxiety is impacting attendance, participation, or ability to access learning, that condition itself should be documented within an IEP or 504 plan. ESAs are generally not recognized as an accommodation under the ADA. That’s why districts often say no, they’re not obligated to allow emotional support animals the way they must allow trained service dogs. BUT you can request an evaluation or 504 meeting and propose this as an accommodation. The team must consider whether: The dog is necessary for the student to access school, and Whether there are other accommodations that would meet the need with fewer logistical barriers. Some districts do approve a dog with strict guidelines (handlers, toileting schedule, training expectations, allergy planning, etc.). Others say no but will offer alternatives like: Dedicated calm-down space Sensory supports Breaks with a staff member Access to a mental-health professional Use of weighted items, fidgets, or regulation tools You do not “certify” an ESA for school. Instead, the school makes a placement/accommodation decision based on disability impact. Outside “certificates” or online ESA letters do not create school obligations. Your state may vary, so you want to double check that to be certain. Because you’re a teacher in the district, it can add an emotional layer. Stick to the process: request a meeting, document the disability-related need, and ask the team to consider the dog as one possible accommodation.

Posting from email: How do we qualify our son's one-year-old dog to become his emotional support dog at school? He has severe anxiety, and when he holds his dog, the anxiety melts away. His pediatrician said she does not know but would support whatever we need to do. We are in (redacted), he attends (redacted) and I teach in the same district.

When people look back on this past year, I don’t think they’ll see the end of special education as we know it. More likely, they’ll see a beginning-- the moment families, teachers, and advocates woke up and said, “No more.” Because it’s been a year of reckoning. The quiet dismantling of the Office of Special Education Programs (OSEP). The shifting of oversight and accountability to people who don’t understand (or don’t value) the protections that have held our system together for five decades. The slow erosion of transparency, enforcement, and trust. We’ve seen what happens when leadership treats IDEA as optional paperwork instead of a civil rights law. And in that loss, many of us have realized just how much we’ve been taking for granted. For years, we assumed the procedural safeguards would always be there....that progress reports, individualized goals, and FAPE were untouchable. Even if we were fighting to get FAPE for one kid....we thought “they can’t possibly take it all away.” And then they started to. Chipping away at protections, agencies, civil rights. But something else is happening too. Parents who never thought of themselves as advocates are showing up, reading the law, asking hard questions. Teachers who once felt silenced are finding their voices, demanding the training and tools they deserve. Communities are connecting....online, in meetings, in living rooms....because we all feel what’s at stake. This awakening isn’t about nostalgia for what IDEA was. It’s about recommitting to what it promised. Fifty years ago this month, Congress passed the Education for All Handicapped Children Act; what we now call IDEA. It was born out of struggle, lawsuits, and heartbreak. It guaranteed that children with disabilities would no longer be excluded, hidden, or ignored. That law wasn’t a gift. It was a fight. And it will take another fight to protect it. As we mark IDEA’s 50th anniversary, let’s remember: we are not at the end of anything. We are at the beginning of a new phase.....one that demands vigilance, collaboration, and courage from all of us. Every parent who documents, every teacher who questions, every advocate who refuses to give up, that’s what keeps IDEA alive. Because rights only matter if we insist on them. Fifty years later, the promise still stands. But it’s our turn to make sure it’s not just words on pape, it’s action in every classroom, every IEP, every child’s life. LL PS: I wouldn’t ask if it didn’t matter....but clicking the links in my emails really does help me keep doing this work. Thank you for supporting small, independent creators like me--AI is killing our sites right now. Almost to the point that it won't be sustainable.

{this is an older post that was deleted and now brought back} Can We Please Stop Doing This? At All Ages. This is one of those posts that’s been sitting in the back of my mind for years. It’s something that rubbed me the wrong way when my son was first diagnosed, but I never really said much about it publicly. Back to the Beginning If you’ve been on this journey for a while, you probably remember those early days after the diagnosis — meeting other parents, finding your footing, trying to build your little community. I remember it vividly. I met so many families, some who became trusted friends and others who just weren’t the right fit. And in one particular group, there was something that happened over and over — something that made me step back completely. It was the “Oh, just you wait…it’s going to get so much harder/worse!” speech. Have you heard it? I Just Wanted to Enjoy My Baby Back then, I didn’t want to live in fear of what might be coming. I wanted to enjoy my baby, celebrate milestones, and focus on Early Intervention, one day at a time. But instead of encouragement, I kept hearing doom and gloom. People who were supposed to be my support system were telling me that things would inevitably get worse. That was not the moral support I was looking for — so I quietly walked away. Because honestly, babies are fun. Toddlers are fun. And yes, it’s exhausting and overwhelming at times, but when you tell a new parent “it only gets worse,” it doesn’t prepare them. It discourages them. So I stopped going to that group, stopped answering messages, and went back to focusing on my family and our small victories. Fast Forward Ten Years More than a decade later, I started reconnecting with some of those same parents, accepting friend requests, showing up at events, joining the same online spaces. And wouldn’t you know it? Within a few weeks, I heard it again. An older, “more experienced” mom said: “Oh, I see all these parents with young kids and I just think, ‘You have no idea what’s in store for you. It gets so much worse.’” Womp. Womp. Really? After all this time, we’re still doing this? I Get It. But… Yes, having an autistic one-year-old is different from having an autistic twelve-year-old. But different doesn’t automatically mean worse. Of course, there are new challenges as kids grow. It’s easy to pick up a two-year-old having a meltdown; not so easy when that child is twelve and taller than you. But there are also challenges that fade — sleepless nights, endless therapies, the uncertainty of those first evaluations. It evens out. It changes shape. When we warn newer parents that “it’s all downhill from here,” what purpose does that serve? Does it change their child’s outcome? Help them prepare? Or does it just rob them of the joy they could be feeling right now? Let People Enjoy Things We can acknowledge that this life is hard without taking away someone else’s hope. Telling parents “just you wait” doesn’t help them build resilience — it teaches them to expect suffering. And that’s not the message families need. The reality is that every stage brings its own mix of challenges and wins. Some seasons are heavier; others are lighter. But no one benefits when we act like difficulty is inevitable or universal. I’d argue that warning parents like that checks maybe one box out of five for being “true and important.” Because it’s not true for everyone, and it’s certainly not helpful all the time. So maybe the better thing to say is: “You’ll figure it out. You’ll grow with your child. And it’s not all bad — there’s still joy to be found.” Because that’s the truth, too. Let’s Do Better for Each Other Parenting a disabled or neurodivergent child already comes with enough unknowns. The last thing any of us need is more fear layered on top of that. What we do need is connection — people who can say, “Yeah, I’ve been there. It’s hard sometimes. But you’ll find your way, and there are still plenty of good moments ahead.” The best gift veteran parents can give newer ones isn’t a warning. It’s perspective. It’s reassurance that the love and joy you feel now won’t disappear just because your child gets older — it just changes shape. We can tell the truth without crushing hope. We can share our experiences without predicting someone else’s future. And we can build a community that encourages, not alarms. Because this journey is already hard enough. Let’s make sure we’re the soft place to land.

It’s heartbreaking (and unf not uncommon) for parents to end up in this situation. When a child with an IEP refuses to attend school, the district’s response should never begin and end with truancy. Under IDEA, if a disability is impacting attendance, that’s a special education issue, not simply a discipline or compliance one. Here’s what should be happening instead of fines and warrants: 1. The team should address the “why.” School refusal is almost always rooted in anxiety, mental health, sensory overload, or a lack of appropriate supports. The IEP team needs to determine why your child can’t attend, through evaluations, data, and input from mental health professionals. 2. Attendance concerns should trigger an IEP meeting, not truancy court. When a disability is preventing a student from accessing school, that’s a denial of FAPE. The district has an obligation to consider additional supports, placement changes, or even home/hospital instruction if necessary, not punitive action. 3. Document everything. Keep a written record of your requests for help, your communications about your child’s difficulties, and any documentation showing the disability connection to the attendance issue. This becomes crucial if you need to escalate your concerns. 4. Request an IEP meeting specifically to address “school refusal.” Ask for updated evaluations (including a functional behavioral assessment or mental health evaluation) and for the team to develop a return-to-school plan that includes gradual reintegration, counseling, and accommodations that make attendance more possible. 5. You’re not alone in this. Many parents have faced similar situations where districts turn a complex disability issue into a legal one. The key is reframing the problem: attendance isn’t defiance, it’s a symptom. And IDEA requires schools to address symptoms that interfere with learning.

Posting for a reader: I just want my kid to go to school. We have a school refusal issue. She has an IEP and from my viewpoint. They’re not addressing the IEP because they’re not addressing the school attendance issue just finding me I asked them to go to truancy court and they find me $500. I currently have a warrant out because I refuse to pay it. I asked for their help all they did is add to the difficult situation. I’m already in

Many parents walk out of IEP meetings feeling like they just got hit by a truck, even after spending hours preparing. It’s incredibly frustrating when goals aren’t carried over, or when your child’s AAC isn’t being used consistently or correctly. Those two issues—continuity of supports and AAC implementation—are both critical for meaningful progress. Here are a few action steps you can take: Request written documentation. Ask the team (in writing) to explain why previous goals were changed or not continued. They are required to provide a rationale for any major shift in programming or goals. Request data and training logs. Ask for data showing how the team implemented AAC over the past year: who used it, when, and in what settings. You can also request documentation of staff training on the device. If the team hasn’t been trained, that’s a valid area for corrective action. Call an additional IEP meeting. You have the right to request a meeting at any time, especially if you believe your child isn’t receiving FAPE (a Free Appropriate Public Education). In your request, specify that you’d like to discuss AAC implementation fidelity and consistency with previous goals. Bring evidence. Print examples of what worked in the past. videos, old progress reports, teacher notes, etc. Concrete examples often cut through the “he said/she said” that happens in meetings. Ask for an AAC specialist. If your district has one (or can access one through the IU or assistive tech team), request that they attend the meeting. Consistency in AAC use hinges on staff confidence and training. Consider writing a parent concerns letter. Before the next meeting, write a short statement summarizing your concerns, your child’s current skills, and what you’ve observed at home. Ask that it be attached to the IEP. This ensures your perspective is part of the official record. It’s discouraging to feel like your voice isn’t being heard, but documenting and following up in writing often shifts things from “they said they’d fix it” to actual accountability. I have many resources on adayinourshoes.com to browse and read-- everything from AT and AAC information, goals, ideas to try, as well as a bunch ways to communicate with your team.

Posting for a reader. Not staying consistent with prior goals that were put in place from the previous year and feeling like you have not been heard or getting the staff to work with my son effectively with his AAC device and training the people who work with him how to use it too. I go into the meeting thinking I'm prepared and I leave feeling angry and like I just got blindsided, and my little boy was setback at least a couple of years. I plan on requesting a second IEP even though we just had one. My son is in 4th grade, autistic and nonspeaking but uses a communication device.

First, thank you for reaching out and for advocating for your students. What you’ve described is deeply concerning, both legally and ethically. Unfortnately not uncommon. Communication is a fundamental right under IDEA, and a student’s IEP team (not the district office) is ultimately responsible for ensuring the assistive technology listed in the IEP is provided. A few thoughts and possible next steps: 1. Document everything. Keep a written record of all communication attempts, to your district’s ESE department, AT specialists, and administrators. Note each time the student was denied access to her AAC device or software, and how that impacts her ability to participate or communicate. Stick to facts and professional language. 2. Focus on the IEP, not the software brand. The IEP says the student requires a speech generating device (SGD). The brand or software (TD Snap, Proloquo, etc.) is secondary. What matters is that she has functional access to AAC. If the district has discontinued TD Snap but hasn’t provided a replacement, that’s a denial of FAPE. 3. Request an IEP meeting. Ask the parent (in writing) to request an IEP meeting to address the lack of access to her required AAC. The parent can say something like: “My child’s IEP states she requires a speech generating device. The district has discontinued TD Snap, and no replacement has been provided. I am requesting an IEP meeting to discuss how the team will ensure she continues to have access to appropriate AAC.” If the parent isn’t sure how to do this, you can encourage them to send that statement to the ESE Director or Principal. 4. Parents can also file a state complaint. If the district continues to delay, parents can file a complaint with the Florida Department of Education, Bureau of Exceptional Education and Student Services (BEESS). They can note that the district is failing to implement the IEP as written. These complaints can be filed online or by mail, and they don’t need an atty to do it. 5. Protect yourself professionally. You’re right to be cautious in an at-will state. Keep your advocacy focused on the student’s legal rights and your duty to implement the IEP as written. Avoid language that implies blame or accusation. Phrases like “I’m seeking clarification on how to implement this student’s IEP” or “I want to ensure we remain compliant” keep it professional and safe. 6. Optional workaround: If the parent can independently obtain a device (through Medicaid, private insurance, or a nonprofit like the Communication Technology Education Center (CTEC) or Team Gleason Foundation to name a few), you can help the team integrate it into the IEP even temporarily. More info: https://adayinourshoes.com/aac-devices-for-autism-and-communication/ https://adayinourshoes.com/assistive-technology/ https://adayinourshoes.com/ask-advocate-iep-team-members-need-training-device/

I am posting this for a teacher who emailed me, I redacted any identifying information. I am a self-contained special education teacher in Florida. We are a semirural high-poverty County. In the past, our county was partnered with TD Snap for AAC software. Sometime over the summer, there was some sort of legal dispute with TD Snap, possibly regarding misuse of student data. That’s all anyone in the district seems to know. However, as a result, the county has stopped issuing students any TD Snap licenses, but is apparently not touching licenses that were previously issued. This is concerning for multiple reasons: 1. No one, and I mean no one, at the district seems to know anything about the problem other than “legal issue, possibly data breach,” or who to contact to get more information. 2. Neither the district nor Tobii Dynavox has reached out to teachers, parents, or students using the TD Snap software. They haven’t touched base with me as a teacher or as a parent (my child is an AAC user who was issued one of the county’s TD Snap licenses three years ago). 3. We currently have no AAC software available for students entering our school district who require AAC- even if they have it specifically written into their IEP that they require a speech generating device. The county is supposedly “in the process” of approving a contract with Proloquo, but I was flat out told there was no timeline for that. I tried to get a grant or even fund my own Proloquo licenses but the district told me that legally I could not do that. Meanwhile, I’ve got a third grader in my class who is completely non-speaking. Her IEP states she requires a speech generating device. We are doing the best we can with obsolete GoTalk pages, core boards, and free demo software but that’s going about as well as you’d expect. She becomes so agitated that she punches and bites herself and me/my staff. I can’t even blame her- if I couldn’t communicate, I’d be mad enough to bite too. I want to fight for her. Her parents are well meaning but are struggling and I don’t believe she has health insurance. I’m also not sure how to effectively fight this battle and still keep my job (we are an at-will state). Do you have any suggestions? If not, thanks for reading anyway.

I think it helps to remember that some people really do need a calculator their whole lives...and that’s okay. What matters is maximizing her skills and independence, wherever that line is for her. I’d frame the discussion around data, not opinion: what progress you’ve seen so far, what’s unknown right now with distance learning, and how to gather new information. That keeps the focus on supporting the student, not debating the tool.

So...Norm from Cheers died. I know, I know—dating myself a bit. But I loved that show. Still do. Hulu thinks I need a rewatch and honestly? Some of the episodes have aged like milk. (Yikes.) There was one that stuck with me, though. Sam signs Diane up for a “barmaid beauty” contest. She’s horrified—because, duh, Diane. But she goes along with it, and by the end, she realizes that winning gives her a bigger platform to speak out about objectifying women. Anyway, it hit me: I’m in my own Diane moment. Personality wise, I'm much more like Carla, I think. Good hearted--but tough, snarky exterior. My book is coming out in a few months. I’m proud of it, and I want people to read it—because it’s a steal at $25. But here’s the bigger thing: if this book does well, I get a louder megaphone. To talk about our kids. Our IEP mess. Our lack of funding, meaningful solutions, progress and accountability. You know, the stuff no one else wants to touch because "only 15% of kids have IEPs." So here’s the ask: Buy the book. Gift it if you don’t need it. Click the Amazon link even if you can’t buy it—because Amazon thinks clicks = quality and will show it to more people. Thanks for reading. Thanks for helping me be the loud, annoying Diane we need. LL P.S. Here’s the link to the book (because you know I don’t do vague). If you don't want to support Amazon, there are other options to purchase it. But please at least click the Amazon Link.

Today was a really odd day. I mean--spent the day watching high school basketball which is pretty much what I do every weekend. But coming home, traffic was a hot mess. And, the whole FIFA thing was letting out in south Philly....and we got caught in this mele and traffic stop on 95 right by the airport. As we're sitting there stopped (yes, stopped on I-95 so the Juventus busses could have the right of way with a police escort), the guy behind me threw a can at the car next to him! (which was filled with young men hanging out the window celebrating) I got really nervous because it went downhill fast. Before we knew it, both cars had pulled up around mine (and all the others) and were chasing each other down 95! I saw a few near-miss accidents, then said to my son, "I'm going to slow down a bit and let them get way out ahead of us so I have plenty of stopping time if they kill each other." Anyway, the whole incident made me pensive driving home. People are passionate--whether it's sports or politics, people love their "thing." They literally were risking their lives over a soccer game. Passion is awesome. It keeps us fired up and in the game. But passion without perspective? That’s when we start missing the signs. There’s a fine line between dedication and delusion. Passion is great—but if you’re not careful, it’ll make you ignore the facts right in front of you, or defend things that probably don't deserve defending. And with everything heating up, this kind of self-check is going to be more important than ever. Passion’s great—until it starts to cloud your judgment, or worse, makes you defend the indefensible just because it’s “your side.†That philosophy applies to both sides. We've all done it--seen something we really wish is true, so we believe it's true. Then we share it. Then we find out it's not true. Let's all take a deep breath before we react, and I'm pointing that first finger at myself. Normally at the start of each week, I send out an action item--a legislative item for us to act upon. Not this week. The USA bombing Iran will distract or derail any other conversations to be had. Of course, we can always call about the "big beautiful bill" that will remove health care for millions of Americans. I call or email about that weekly, and probably will again this week. But there's nothing new in the area of health care or education. Except maybe the US Department of Energy trying to abolish 504. Our lobbying is so needed--our kids cannot advocate (much) politically for themselves. They're going to rely on us, and there's a lot of this in our future. Make it a part of your routine. I have a Thursday routine that I do for work, and now "calling Congress" is on that list. Every week. Take time for yourself. Tune out. Turn off. Watch a movie or read a book. Walk the dog. Stay informed, but at a healthy level. This is a long game. All the information here is still current: Stepping Up for Disabled Kids: Guide to Changing Special Education Advocacy and Laws in 2025 Stepping Up for Disabled Kids: Legislative Information Rest, but don't quit. LL *Please note: the posts here that are in the "Sunday Night Emails" category are just that--previous emails sent out on a Sunday night. The dates/times/content may not match up with present day events because it was sent out a while ago.

How's everyone doing? Whether this past week (and next) was vacation, time off, ESY or just business as usual, I hope you were able to find time for yourself. For those of you who have been around me for a while, maybe you remember back in the winter when it was first announced that the US Dept of Ed was being dismantled. First, it was shock. Then, within about 24 hours or so, I was on social media and email, saying "oh hell no, fucking bring it!" I still stand by those statements, because I believe with 100% of my heart that going against special needs moms and teachers, as a unit, is one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make. Still, I'd be lying if I said I felt that same fire in my belly regarding the BBB that passed on Thursday. Regardless of what people want to believe, if implemented, disabled people will die. In droves. I guess that's why I don't feel the same energy--maybe because the stakes are higher now? I mean, if the ED dismantles, will people die? Probably not. If rural hospitals close, disabled people don't have food, care, support....will they die? Yes, they will. And our country let it happen in the 60s, 80s, 90s and the pandemic, so don't kid yourself "that'll never happen." Unfortunately the USA has a long history of letting marginalized people die (which is why they don't want our kids to learn the real history, but I digress). Anyway, my point is....as a special needs parent, mom, advocate and community leader in this space, how do we get out of this place of despair and fear? A mantra that I've said 1000 times: Focus on what we can control. I cannot control how Congress votes. I can (and do) call my legislators regularly, and I vote in every election, but ultimately how they vote is up to them. I can control how I show up for my kid. I can control how I advocate, how I support others, and how I use my voice. I can control what I teach my community and what tools I share with you. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to double down on helping you become the strongest, savviest IEP parent or public school teacher you can be. Because while they’re out there playing games with our lives and our kids’ futures, we’re over here preparing, learning, and fighting smarter. This week, I’m going to share more free tools, updated guides, and some ways you can take action—at school, in your community, and yes, even in D.C. when the time is right. We are not powerless. And when special needs parents and educators get organized, focused, and loud? That’s when the real change happens. We’ve got work to do. Lastly, I put these thoughts, and one of my favorite photos of me and my boys, RIGHT HERE. Please share with anyone who needs a little direction these days, a virtual hug or motivation. We've overcome so much--as the saying goes, I didn't come this far only to come this far. Rest, but don't quit. LL *Please note: the posts here that are in the "Sunday Night Emails" category are just that--previous emails sent out on a Sunday night. The dates/times/content may not match up with present day events because it was sent out a while ago.

Last week I was supposed to go to this "thing" out in Gettysburg, for two days. It was part conference/part work session, a statewide thing run by our state Bureau of Special Ed. Since PA had the PARC decree 3 years before IDEA existed, we had "IEPs" and special ed, and we have these parent-led groups called Local Task Forces. I've written about them on my site before, because they're a fantastic idea, but they have this clunky name that is unappealing. Anyway, I am chairing the one for my county this coming school year, so all the people involved statewide were gathered to try and improve them going forward. But, when you have a child like mine, with complex medical needs, a sitter is not always so easy to find. Especially the first week of July. So, it didn't work out for me to go. Sometimes, though, the world works in mysterious ways. Right after Congress passed that horrible bill, Speaker Johnson sent everyone home. They were actually supposed to be in session but he canceled it. My Congresswoman was back home in our district (as I assume most were) and they reached out and asked if I'd like to meet with her. This was Tuesday night, asking about Wedesnday. Had I been in Gettysburg, that wouldn't have happened. Anyway, I called off Kevin's van and his nurses for Wednesday, and we went. https://birdmail.s3.amazonaws.com/images/1628/20250713024040518282230_10214286469511101_2192762172439067655_n.jpg Lisa Lightner, Kevin Lightner and Representative Chrissy Houlihan (D-PA) We got to chat for about half an hour. Kevin gave her an up close and personal glimpse into what it's like to go out with someone who is profoundly autistic. He took off his shoes shortly after we got there. He threw the few things that I had brought for him, that yes, were "highly preferred" items just hours before. He hit me once while I was talking. At one point, he bolted up out of his wheelchair, ran across the room and tried to climb a set of stacked chairs (I stopped him of course). Hooray for scattered skill sets??? Despite all that, we had a meaningful conversation and she got a look at some of PA's neediest citizens, and why these Medicaid cuts will be devastating to those of us who rely on HCBS services, in particular. I didn't had hope for change--the votes are over, the bill has been signed. We chatted about upcoming elections, and my hope that is what will facilitate change. But here's an interesting tidbit: At one point, I said to her, "I just don't understand how some Reps, like Speaker Johnson, can vote yes for this bill, when over half of his district relies on Medicaid." She said she is surprised too. But here's the interesting part--she told me that she often asks her conservative counterparts, and they are telling her that they don't hear from their constituents. Are they being truthful when they tell her this? I think some of them are. I'm genuinely surprised at how many people are too intimidated to call their people (reminder: they work for US, not the other way around). I've posted many calls to action on my page, only to see comments like "oh, I live in so-and-so's district, waste of time" or "I live in a deep red district, it won't matter." I'm here to tell you: IT MATTERS. Studies show elected officials pay attention to calls and letters from their own district—even in “safe” seats. Your calls are logged, tracked, and lumped into a daily tally staffers relay to the member. They work for us, even if it doesn't always feel that way. Step out of your comfort zone. Make time. None of us is too busy for a 5 minute phone call. Even better: If you live near one of your rep's district offices, stop in. Tell them that you're either disappointed in their vote, or thank them for a recent vote. There's a lot more going on than this bill. There's the $7 billion he's witholding from states, that Congress already approved for education. There's the Department of Labor thing-- no longer required to hire disabled people. Stay tuned, I'll have more on these issues, as fast as my fingers can type. In the meantime, you can check here for the latest information. I have to redo and update a lot of previous posts, but will still be doing our "Take Action Tuesday" items. Rest, but don't quit. LL *Please note: the posts here that are in the "Sunday Night Emails" category are just that--previous emails sent out on a Sunday night. The dates/times/content may not match up with present day events because it was sent out a while ago.

Facebook reminded me that ten years ago this week, Kevin had his first seizure. With his genetic condition, we knew it was a strong possibility, but woke up grateful each day that it hadn't happened. Yet. It was summer, just like now. We were headed into what should’ve been a lazy, sunny week, but instead, our world cracked open and never quite sealed back the same way. I can tell you where I was standing. I can still hear the silence that follows a seizure—that eerie quiet where time seems to suspend itself while your brain scrambles to catch up to what just happened. It was just the beginning. And I’ve spent the last ten years learning how to walk that path, even when it twists unexpectedly, even when the ground disappears under my feet. The milestones hit differently now. While many families celebrate first steps, first words, or first jobs—ours have included EEGs, med changes, and hard-won moments of calm. We’ve learned to measure progress in breaths taken, in school days completed without a call from the nurse. Retractable epilepsy and LGS means regression--unavoidable regression unless you control the seizures. And, unfortunately for Kevin, we're just waiting for the science to catch up to him. I won’t sugarcoat it—there’s grief. There’s grief for what could’ve been, for the version of childhood that wasn’t ours. But there’s also gratitude. For the nurses who know us by name. For the teachers who listen. For every quiet moment that didn’t end in rescue meds and canceled plans. And there’s strength. Kevin’s, mostly. But also mine. I didn’t know I had this in me. I didn’t know I could fight so hard, advocate so fiercely, or sit up night after night researching meds and school accommodations like it was my job—because, well, it became my job. Ten years ago, I didn’t know any of this. I was just a mom watching her child on the floor, unable to do anything but whisper “please, please, please” into the chaos. Today, I know better. I know what to ask for. I know what to push for. I know the loopholes, the workarounds. If you’re newer to this journey—if your child’s first seizure was last week or last year—I want you to know: you’re not alone. You will find your footing, even if it doesn’t feel like it now. The grief might always be there, but so will the community, the resources, and the resilience you didn’t know you had. We’re ten years in. And while I’d give anything to change that first moment, I wouldn’t trade the strength it’s uncovered in both of us. Side note--One of my few parenting regrets regarding epilepsy is this--For years, doctors would ask us "are you seeing any infantile spasms?" and I'd always say no. Truth is, I didn't know what an infantile spasm was. I heard the word spasm and just assumed he wasn't having them. Then one day, the Brain Recovery Project shared a video of infantile spasms. Oh. If your child is at risk for epilepsy, please educate yourself on allllll the different kinds of seizures, including infantile spasms. Turns out "that dark day" in July was not his first--we just didn't know what we were looking at. Read: ESES, Status Epilepticus, and Other Things I Wish I Knew about Epilepsy. Thanks for being here—for reading, for sharing, for walking this path with me. —Lisa *Please note: the posts here that are in the "Sunday Night Emails" category are just that--previous emails sent out on a Sunday night. The dates/times/content may not match up with present day events because it was sent out a while ago.

For obvious reasons, I follow a lot of education, disability and special ed related stuff on social media. This one post still has me thinking about it, and I saw it like 2 weeks ago. I'm not personally criticizing anyone--we're all entitled to our opinions. And, our world view is our world view, based on what we've experienced. But clearly my advocacy journey has been quite different than hers. I offer advocate training. On Thursdays during the school year, we Zoom at 2:00. Sometimes I bring in an attorney or expert to do some training. Other times it's just chatting--bouncing ideas around, troubleshooting issues and problems we're having with clients. I had no idea when I started this--but I've been told dozens of times it's the best part of the training and why a lot of advocates sign up. Most of us work from home, alone, and it is a lonely job at times. I *think* I'm the advocate in the group who has the most years of experience, but I'm not positive. But even doing this for 15 years, I still have questions and ideas I need to hash out with colleagues. That's right--I said colleagues. These advocates are all over the country--CT, CO, CA, FL, MI, DE, MD and many other states. I still consider these people my "colleagues." So anyway--back to that social media post. It was advertising a free PDF or webinar or something....to help advocates "discover who their competitors are." Something like that. The vibe was advocates competing with other advocates, for clients. There are something like 8 million kids with IEPs in this country. The largest caseload I've ever had at once was 18 kids. And by caseload--I mean their current situation was active with emails, evals, meetings and stuff. Not just on the back burner waiting for another meeting. Very active situations--and honestly--18 kids almost broke me. When you have 18 families and 18 schools to communicate with, 18 IEPs to do a record review and research options.... honestly, sometimes I'm surprised that I'm still an advocate after that time period. 18 kids is 0.000225% of 8 million. And it was more than I could handle. There are enough kids to go around--there is enough need to go around, that we don't need to be thinking of each other as competitors. Any mental energy I'm using to think about how I can "beat" you in the business world, or compete against you....is mental energy I'm not using on your child's situation. There’s more than enough work to go around, and collaboration helps us all serve families better. Wasting energy on comparison or imaginary turf wars takes away from what really matters: empowering parents and improving outcomes for kids. I don’t compete against other advocates, and I don’t compete against schools either. Competition in advocacy is a failed strategy. That mindset might serve attorneys in due process hearings, but it has no place in everyday advocacy. The need is massive, and there are more families than there are trained advocates to help them. (which is why I started my training program in the first place) Wasting time viewing each other, or schools, as the enemy only drains energy from the real mission: supporting families, building/repairing relationships, and getting better outcomes for students. Collaboration, not competition, is how we make lasting change. When advocates support one another, everyone wins—especially the students we’re all here for. Rest, but don't quit. Lisa PS: I will have a lot more info on the training coming in August. If you read yesterday's email, you read that I am updating all my products--and the training is included. Info coming soon. *Please note: the posts here that are in the "Sunday Night Emails" category are just that--previous emails sent out on a Sunday night. The dates/times/content may not match up with present day events because it was sent out a while ago.