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Admin Note: I don't normally do anonymous posts, but this person is having trouble getting past the recaptcha, which we're trying to figure out. In the meantime, I said I'd post her question so that hopefully it has responses by the time she can get in.
 
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I have been fighting our (Ohio) school to get an IEP for my 9yo son (diagnosed with Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder, PTSD, and ADHD; adopted from foster care and had extensive early neglect) for over two years now. He gets good grades and tests well, but struggles extensively with the social-emotional parts of school and executive function stuff. Last year he was spending time in the hall, in another classroom, or with an administrator at least three times a week for a solid hour at a time and getting informally suspended more and more frequently, which to me means not accessing FAPE.
 
In second grade, they declined to assess for an IEP based on classroom observations and good grades and punted him to RTI for speech. Not knowing what I know now, we assumed good faith and went to get a private psych eval to get diagnoses and prove disability, which took nearly a year. 
 
When I got the psych report last November, I sent it to the school and asked again for an IEP assessment in December. I followed up in February when they were out of compliance, and they slapped together a 504 Plan in February for his ADHD. At the same time, his behavior was getting more explosive, and he was getting informally suspended more and more frequently. (Also didn’t know that was a thing at the time.) 
 
When he got formally suspended for the first time in March (and my conversation with the principal revealed that the principal believed he was three incidents away from expulsion), I hit the roof and demanded all the things. The school psych used the private psych report to put together her portion of an ETR, the school gave us an FBA with one of the district BCBAs, and the school SLP declined to evaluate for the ETR again, somehow, despite my son receiving speech services at the local children’s hospital (for pragmatics and articulation). They were rushing a lot of stuff because by this point it was the end of the school year. At the ETR meeting, the LEA/school psych said he did not qualify for an IEP on the grounds that there wasn’t evidence that his disabilities were impacting his access to FAPE, and that we needed to use the BIP and “wait and see.”
 
This is where I finally did some Googling and discovered y’all and started learning the process. I talked to our state disability rights org, who assigned me a short-term advocate to give me advice. She read the ETR and said it was really badly done and I absolutely had grounds to request an IEE. She specifically pointed out that not having a speech eval for a communication disorder was ludicrous, that there was no OT eval despite SPCD being related to autism, and that the report the school psych cribbed from the private eval failed to address the clinically significant results of various assessments.
 
I asked for an IEE using the Don’t IEP Alone template at the end of July, and the district IEP person said that we needed to wait for the school year since most staff were 10 month. I emailed to follow up today (3 days into the school year), and she said that we could either proceed with an IEE (we’re not on a waitlist yet) or the school could do the speech and OT assessments and we could have a new ETR and meeting.
 
I need advice on this. I am torn, because I feel the school has been acting in bad faith for a long time and the IEP rep did not mention readdressing the psych eval concerns. On the other hand, an IEE is gonna take a million years. 
 
Is there any harm in saying yes to the re-eval while getting on IEE waitlists in case they keep trying to deny the IEP? Now that I found Don’t IEP Alone, I am keeping much better documentation, I am working to find a longer-term advocate, and I hope to have a much stronger case and be more prepared for an ETR meeting.
 
Also, how do I prove the 504/BIP is not enough  when there’s no IEP mandating data collection? When I asked for my son’s behavior record last year (in writing), they gave me one mostly-empty page documenting the one formal suspension and that was it.

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